Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire

There is an owl in the trees outside my window, hooting like it has been personally dispatched to bring as the Good Word of Athena.

Tue, Feb 16 2016 16:49:18

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//twitter.com/seananmcguire/status/699636683004780545

— Seanan McGuire (@seananmcguire)Tue, Feb 16 2016 16:49:18

Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire

The cats are going MOTHERFUCKING GONZO BALLISTIC with excitement. Ever see a 28-lb cat hit the window? SHIT SHAKES.

Tue, Feb 16 2016 16:49:46

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//twitter.com/seananmcguire/status/699636799686062081

— Seanan McGuire (@seananmcguire)Tue, Feb 16 2016 16:49:46

Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire

Alice and Thomas just jumped for the window at the same time and collided in midair. This is some Cartoon Network bullshit.

Tue, Feb 16 2016 16:52:29

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//twitter.com/seananmcguire/status/699637483990966272

— Seanan McGuire (@seananmcguire)Tue, Feb 16 2016 16:52:29

Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire

The owl is still going.

Tue, Feb 16 2016 16:52:48

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//twitter.com/seananmcguire/status/699637563707883520

— Seanan McGuire (@seananmcguire)Tue, Feb 16 2016 16:52:48

Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire

Is this owl here to deliver my Hogwarts letter?

Tue, Feb 16 2016 16:53:29

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//twitter.com/seananmcguire/status/699637734755868672

— Seanan McGuire (@seananmcguire)Tue, Feb 16 2016 16:53:29

Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire

Alice is now snubbing the owl. She is LOUDLY SLEEPING, while Thomas howls in fury at the uncaring window.

Tue, Feb 16 2016 16:56:12

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//twitter.com/seananmcguire/status/699638418251206656

— Seanan McGuire (@seananmcguire)Tue, Feb 16 2016 16:56:12

Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire

This is how feline supervillains are made. With an owl, and a window that won't conveniently open.

Tue, Feb 16 2016 16:56:46

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//twitter.com/seananmcguire/status/699638561323134977

— Seanan McGuire (@seananmcguire)Tue, Feb 16 2016 16:56:46

Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OWL JUST HIT THE WINDOW

Tue, Feb 16 2016 17:28:57

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//twitter.com/seananmcguire/status/699646661174231040

— Seanan McGuire (@seananmcguire)Tue, Feb 16 2016 17:28:57

Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire

WHY OWL WHY NO THOMAS NO DON'T HIT THE WINDOW BACK WHAT THE FUCK

Tue, Feb 16 2016 17:29:12

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//twitter.com/seananmcguire/status/699646724281741312

— Seanan McGuire (@seananmcguire)Tue, Feb 16 2016 17:29:12

Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire

STOP NATURE

Tue, Feb 16 2016 17:29:19

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//twitter.com/seananmcguire/status/699646754841501696

— Seanan McGuire (@seananmcguire)Tue, Feb 16 2016 17:29:19

Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire

NATURE STOP

Tue, Feb 16 2016 17:29:24

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//twitter.com/seananmcguire/status/699646775955582976

— Seanan McGuire (@seananmcguire)Tue, Feb 16 2016 17:29:24

Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire

Owl was brown, shaggy, not a barn owl, larger than I like an owl to be when near me, and totally fine.

Tue, Feb 16 2016 17:53:34

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//twitter.com/seananmcguire/status/699652854290583552

— Seanan McGuire (@seananmcguire)Tue, Feb 16 2016 17:53:34

Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire

I have called @UrsulaV, and based on my description of Owl and Owl's behavior, we think it's a juvenile Great Horned Owl.

Tue, Feb 16 2016 18:09:57

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//twitter.com/seananmcguire/status/699656980365873153

— Seanan McGuire (@seananmcguire)Tue, Feb 16 2016 18:09:57

Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire

I do not have pictures of Owl, because Owl is JUST FINE, THANKS, and attempted to chase me out of the yard when I went outside.

Tue, Feb 16 2016 18:10:23

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//twitter.com/seananmcguire/status/699657089191292928

— Seanan McGuire (@seananmcguire)Tue, Feb 16 2016 18:10:23

Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire

When I say "attempted," read "succeeded in doing so."

Tue, Feb 16 2016 18:10:35

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//twitter.com/seananmcguire/status/699657138063323136

— Seanan McGuire (@seananmcguire)Tue, Feb 16 2016 18:10:35

Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire

I went outside to make sure Owl was okay (for @UrsulaV's sake), and because if Owl was dead, I was going to put it in my freezer.

Tue, Feb 16 2016 18:10:58

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//twitter.com/seananmcguire/status/699657237061459968

— Seanan McGuire (@seananmcguire)Tue, Feb 16 2016 18:10:58

Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire

Nothing says "aren't you lucky to live with me?" like an unexpected dead owl on top of the frozen peas.

Tue, Feb 16 2016 18:11:21

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//twitter.com/seananmcguire/status/699657331613655045

— Seanan McGuire (@seananmcguire)Tue, Feb 16 2016 18:11:21

Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire

Owl was not dead. Owl is JUST FINE. Owl made an UNGODLY NOISE, mantled its wings, and ran at me. OWLS CAN RUN.

Tue, Feb 16 2016 18:11:58

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//twitter.com/seananmcguire/status/699657487444680704

— Seanan McGuire (@seananmcguire)Tue, Feb 16 2016 18:11:58

Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire

OWLS CAN RUN LIKE HOLY FUCK NOBODY'S FUCKING BUSINESS GO OWL GO PLEASE GO PLEASE GO AWAY.

Tue, Feb 16 2016 18:12:13

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//twitter.com/seananmcguire/status/699657548861812736

— Seanan McGuire (@seananmcguire)Tue, Feb 16 2016 18:12:13

Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire

Owl is still in the bushes outside my bedroom window, hooting occasionally. Smug fucker.

Tue, Feb 16 2016 18:14:08

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//twitter.com/seananmcguire/status/699658032150478848

— Seanan McGuire (@seananmcguire)Tue, Feb 16 2016 18:14:08

Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire

If Owl does not recover and fly away in an hour or so, I'm going to call Wildlife Rescue.

Tue, Feb 16 2016 18:14:29

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//twitter.com/seananmcguire/status/699658119534682113

— Seanan McGuire (@seananmcguire)Tue, Feb 16 2016 18:14:29

Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire

Owl owns my yard now.

Tue, Feb 16 2016 18:14:59

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//twitter.com/seananmcguire/status/699658245166632960

— Seanan McGuire (@seananmcguire)Tue, Feb 16 2016 18:14:59

Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire

If I call Wildlife Rescue, I bet THEY'LL let me take a picture without trying to TAKE MY FACE.

Tue, Feb 16 2016 18:15:21

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//twitter.com/seananmcguire/status/699658339823652865

— Seanan McGuire (@seananmcguire)Tue, Feb 16 2016 18:15:21

Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire

If you've been looking for an opportunity to prank me, this would be a good time to drop a Hogwarts letter in the bushes outside my window.

Tue, Feb 16 2016 18:17:51

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//twitter.com/seananmcguire/status/699658966574374912

— Seanan McGuire (@seananmcguire)Tue, Feb 16 2016 18:17:51

Seanan McGuire@seananmcguire

Pro tip: if you try to do this, an owl may eat your face. A large, angry, aggressive, dazed, teenage owl with talons like knives.

Tue, Feb 16 2016 18:18:16

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//twitter.com/seananmcguire/status/699659072979628032

— Seanan McGuire (@seananmcguire)Tue, Feb 16 2016 18:18:16