Stage 15: Round-up

At least Sagan wasn't *second*.

  1. It was safety in numbers for the stage 15 vaches, who seemed to huddle within a 2km area.
  2. Out by 10 km on th evaches sighting. Not enough fingers and toes to work how to bridge the gap under Chapettes Law. #LVDT #Tdf #sbstdf
  3. @lesvachesdutour So it hot and sweaty today? Those vaches were watching and licking lips as if keen on a bit of spandex saltlick.
  4. Here are some lovely Aubracs, ignoring the peloton. Were we at an ad break when they appeared?
  5. “@letour: Les vaches sont plus calmes en Ardèche / The cows are calmer in Ardèche. 🐮 #TDFvache http://t.co/vaEedOhdbG” #lvdt
    @letour: Les vaches sont plus calmes en Ardèche / The cows are calmer in Ardèche. 🐮 #TDFvache pic.twitter.com/vaEedOhdbG#lvdt
  6. It's almost as though some people *aren't* watching for the cows...!
  7. @ChasSutcliffe @heysmell @lesvachesdutour @letour Omg that's so funny; its le f-ing Tour de France n u guys r checking out les vaches xxx ;)
  8. @ChasSutcliffe @heysmell @lesvachesdutour @letour I'm looking, it's awesome. and there was me watching the cyclists *so*much*to*learn* xxxxx
  9. We were pretty happy to have Jens on our tellies.
  10. Please increase Jens' airtime by 3000% thanks @SBS #sbstdf 🙌
  11. OHMIGOD OHMIGOD! #thejensie in the flesh! Hai! 😘👋🏼☺️
  12. The butter debate continues to rage.
  13. Gaté has a week to raise the #butter game massively. Fast approaching needing to use a kilo per night! Its an outrage! #sbstdf #buttergate
  14. We'd be happy with this:
  15. We had a looooooooong wait until race pictures came through, so there was time to fill
  16. And now some bonus filler because we have no live pictures until at least 22:10. #sbstdf #getyourtoiletbreaksinnow
  17. Robbie and Mike stretching the elastic of this segment. When will it snap? #sbstdf
  18. Definitely looks like some hair product action going on there for Tomo. Might have to wait for the B sample. #sbstdf http://t.co/Yb5sraYpzJ
    Definitely looks like some hair product action going on there for Tomo. Might have to wait for the B sample. #sbstdf pic.twitter.com/Yb5sraYpzJ
  19. Tired... predicting unsheduled naps.
  20. Can I rinse my contacts in Alpecin to keep my eyes from closing?
  21. Only if you then dry them with a kangaroo. "@lesvachesdutour: Can I rinse my contacts in Alpecin to keep my eyes from closing?”
  22. @lesvachesdutour Got to worth a try. Let us all know how it goes, when your eyesight recovers enough to see a screen.
  23. Bless.
  24. Phil does a Pythonesque "when I were a lad, crowds were always polite, ay We used to flatten hills out w' bare hands for riders " #sbstdf
  25. *shudders*
  26. Handy cheat-sheets:
  27. As live coverage begins, make sure you have your Yates decoders at the ready #TDF2015 #TDF http://t.co/yXNuQmthXO
    As live coverage begins, make sure you have your Yates decoders at the ready #TDF2015 #TDF pic.twitter.com/yXNuQmthXO
  28. Did anybody get a sample?
  29. Was Froomy sure it was urine - may have just been one of those really sharp white wines being offered by over enthusiastic vigneron #sbstdf
  30. They probably won't mention them at all...
  31. How much are P&P going to love this breakaway. The rainbow jersey, Sagan and a Yates. #sbstdf
  32. #TDF catch up... we have a Viking in the break. GO Lars \o/
  33. A "high class break away" there are low class riders in the #sbstdf ??
  34. Welcome, Midge!
  35. Today I shall take my #TDF on ITV4 with Phil and Paul...because I love the Australian banter with #sherliggetisms. Hi Australia \o/
  36. Welcome, WA.
  37. Evening WA - you're not much later to the race than us tonight #toomuchchat #sbstdf
  38. 'sup, WA. You missed @thejensie. He was slow roasted. SOZ. It was magnificent. #sbstdf
  39. Obelix!
  40. Sky's gotta do a better job protecting their leader.
  41. Poor Froomie - not only does he get wee thrown at him, but he has to ride alongside Valverde. #sbstdf
  42. It sure *seemed* as though Matthew Keenan used up the night's allocation of saddle sore news.
  43. It's been a while since I've heard about anyone's "under carriage". I assume all is ok tonight? #sbstdf
  44. Keenan is saying saddle sore with a bit too much gusto!
  45. Bloody hell @mwkeenan I've go couch sores from sitting here in front of the tv every night. #sbstdf
  46. Learning from the masters...
  47. ...but not *too* much.
  48. Listening to @mwkeenan on #TDF2015 race call. So fluid, informed, enthusiastic. Not afraid of the occasional pause. Such a pro.
  49. Well, it wasn't a chicken...
  50. Rock sculpture. Fabulous. Love it, even if it isn't made of hay bales #sbstdf
  51. I see that statue and I think of the sand people at the podrace in Star Wars #sbstdf #randomconnections
  52. Sherliggettisms
  53. As in "He won this stage by a mere oscillated lizard". #sbstdf
  54. That's road D578B as Phil practices calling bingo #sbstdf
  55. Nasty climb tomorrow. When do we get to the climbs that are a piece of piss? #sbstdf #SherLiggettisms
  56. There's something on the lens...
  57. Is there a jersey for wanting a stage win?
  58. I must say- NOBODY wants that stagewin more then @petosagan, nobody works more, nobody works harder! Total legend- true fighter!!
  59. Fashion watch.
  60. Sagan's kit/helmet disrespecting the Green jersey. Gotta go full green #TDF2015
  61. Egad! Ryder and his hideous goggles. I'd been able to get through 14 stages before I actually saw that. #TdF2015
  62. We took a break from the cycling to marvel at Mark Fanning's escape from a shark in South Africa. Well, sort of.
  63. Shark Attacks Mick Fanning at J-Bay Open
  64. Shark attack in South Africa, where is Nibbles? #sbstdf
  65. Fisrt the vache going after cyclists now sharks going after surfers #theanimalsareinrevolt watch your #tourcats everyone #sbstdf
  66. Mick Fanning punches a shark. Your move Jensie.
  67. Dear Mick Fanning, if you want to get rid of a shark, you stab him in the back instead of punching him. just ask Vino #TDF2015 #sbstdf
  68. After seeing that Mick Fanning footage the Ocean can get in the fucking Sea @getinthesea
  69. Richard Wilkins reporting that Bernard Fanning will star in the next Sharknado movie
  70. Ce coq aime département 7...
  71. ...and we loved it, too.
  72. That's one of the best chickens I've seen all tour. That's quality #fieldart there people #sbstdf
  73. And good #fieldart too. I liked the flag as the tail and the feet were excellent. #SBSTdF #TdF
  74. What kind of aeroplane was that depicted in the #fieldart ? Anyone? #sbstdf
  75. We weren't as impressed by this effort.
  76. Historic car #fieldart 3/10 #sbstdf Includes bonus point for effort in getting the cars.
  77. Dubious facts about architecture:
  78. That's a very circular tower which was a woman's bachelor apartment. #sherliggettisms #sbstdf #saywhat
  79. Medieval watchtower (close enough to a chateau) - tick! With bonus slightly racy story attached... #SBSTdF #TdF
  80. The natural beauty of the Ardèche...
  81. ...look for it in a tourist brochure.
  82. "The Ardèche: Meander down the river and pull off in the evening." Tourisme France. #sbstdf
  83. Helpful street signage.
  84. Phil focusses on the 7.9km sign. I just see Pizzeria and Grill. #sbstdf
  85. @lesvachesdutour Ahaha! same. I was trying to visualise what pizza I would have. *gigglesnort* This is what the TdF does. #sbstdf
  86. Hot air?
  87. Mistral gets a mention. Until last year I thought it was a brand of oscillating fan #thanksPaul #sbstdf
  88. Tempers were frayed.
  89. Sagan shouts at bike. Mechanic throws bottle at bike. Sherwen thinks it's a 'planned move'. Wtf?
  90. Surely that mechanic will get fined for lobbing that bidon at the motorbike? #TdF2015
  91. Tinkoff mechanic shares a water bottle with thirsty camera man. Classy. #TDF
  92. The break? Not gonna make it.
  93. And it's good night from me and good night from him as those two breakies get swallowed up. #TdF #sbstdf
  94. ICYMI
  95. Forgot to say "saddle sore" God Paul it's not like you're saying "festering bollocks"
  96. Poor Rohan. If only he knew how many times his black shorts get a mention each stage.
  97. Yup.
  98. Got to say, they picked two boring stages for this weekend. Not the best for us who have to work during the week.. #tdf
  99. Nothing says "go faster" like bagpipes.
  100. Thank god they showed the band. I thought I'd started aural hallucinations #sbstdf
  101. what Paul and Phil fail to say is that the riders must negotiate round the bagpipes with 1.5KM to go #sbstdf
  102. That bad high school music strategically placed to make the riders go faster! #sbstdf #myearsarebleeding
  103. Stybar took off...
  104. Head down bum up Stybar, go for broke don't look back. #sbstdf
  105. He couldn't. A sprint finish!
  106. Degenkolb really had a go.
  107. But Greipel won the stage.
  108. The GRILLER! That BBQ sitting a fortnight ago is paying off! #sbstdf
  109. Goodness me. Greipel just keeps on getting it done. Chapeau. #sbstdf #tdf
  110. A great result for the mad cow!
  111. Coming up!
  112. I think we've earned this: