Badass by Sable Hunter: Chapter 5

Read With Me Vicariously: Live-Tweeting Isaac & Avery's Story (Book 4 of the Hell Yeah! series)

  1. I think I have the Simile Sex algorithm figured out: Animal, food, religion, repeat.
  2. Braveheart??? I have a feeling the author has never actually seen that movie.  http://chud.com/nextraimages/braveheartrev03.jpg 
  3. Location 2316: Isaac is distracted by Avery's pec-handling practice while he's on the phone with future SIL: "Hold on, Libby. I have a wild filly here that ain’t been saddle broke yet."
  4. I know that was twitter-spam, but I still thought it was funny.
  5. Avery explains: "“Yep, I’ve seen that syndrome before. It’s common in churchwomen. They get their hair fixed every week; it’s called a standing appointment. And that hairdo has to last for seven days, so to preserve it they wear a pair of satin drawers on their head to prevent it from getting messed up."

    Granny Fontenot explains: “I’m not crazy, children. Wearing my skivvies keeps my do pretty." I love Granny Fontenot.
  6. Oh. Dear. God. Brace yourselves: Libby was making party placecards. In the craft room. With glitter. She wipes up excess with washcloth. Oops, she forgot about an OB/GYN checkup! (she's pregnant, remember). She uses said washcloth for a quick refreshing of the lady parts. DON'T ASK, I don't have the details about the logistics.

    ANYWAY: “When the doctor got me all spread out like a filleted pork chop, he cracked up and said – ‘Well, hello there. This is the first time anyone’s ever decorated it for me.’ I had glitter everywhere."

    “You were Vajazzeled!” Avery laughed. “When I was out at the Vegas cathouse, I heard all about it.”

    Of course she did.
  7. Minor Big Misunderstanding does not involve glitter.
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