Birthday Cake Acts as Troll Bait, Spurs Meme and Downfall of Free World

Troops from both sides of the worldview war that seems to be splitting the world into Patriots vs. Communists or Red Necks vs. The Enlightened, depending on perspective, are so eager for the conflict to begin that all it takes to pull the pin is a birthday cake recipe. A meme ensues.

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  1. It all started when Web Guy Josh posted a recipe for a birthday cake fit for a sparkly unicorn to an Australian radio show website.
  2. SPOILER ALERT: The number five is cleverly embedded throughout the birthday cake, a feat of brilliance and a multi-stepped magical process involving something that looks like playdough and a freezer. Commenter Irene asked how long it took to freeze this five so that it doesn't wonk out the cake. Cue the cellos. The thread soon became a sociological study and an archive of all that is wrong with the Internet.
  3. Fortunately Albert Burneko, writing for The Concourse, fixed that by subsequently showing how the Universe can use the interwebz for good instead of evil. Burneko found this recipe and its comments section and made what can only be described as the best snarky analyis of trolldom ever to be written. IMHO. Ever.
  4. You need to click that link directly above and read the entire article.  The Concourse deserves all the traffic and analytic afterglow it can possibly glean from Burenko's adept deconstruction of political discourse as it applies to the troll thread on a cake recipe.

    I predict that there are a couple of memes that will emerge from this piece. First: FACEBOOK BALLS. Everyone needs a pair.
  5. Speaking of mouths, commenter 'x' displayed the admirable girth of his FACEBOOK BALLS in referring to a woman who sought recipe clarification of being a whiz at fellatio (<euphemism).  No comment thread is complete without the requisite misogynistic and oft-mispelled potty mouth piping in. 'x' should probably quit visiting PUA hate sites. 'x's mommy didn't give him a special cake when he was turned five.
  6. Various other insults and patronizing semantical missives weave throughout the sharing of baking experiences gone wrong. It is something to behold. Most of the political rhetoric is from geo-centric Americans who let their ideological entrenchment hijack the Australian radio station's cake recipe. As of the writing of this article, there are 647 comments. Who wouldn't love to get the PPC commission on that kind of engagement?!
  7. Jessica, stepped right over that and tried to get the train back on the tracks by using humor and feather-smoothing.
  8. And then Jeanette Danielle Benziger demonstrates the kind of civility that is no longer welcome in this Comment Town. The lady just wants to make a cake for her grandson, but she walks right into the status of unwitting icon in what I am quite certain will become the second meme from this thing. It's like being a reluctant messiah without the superpowers.
  9. Here is how Burneko characterizes Ms Benziger's comment.
  10. Burneko's political commentary is the stuff of beauty and is not be be missed so I'll let him speak for himself by which I mean I highly recommend a read of his article above. In the meantime, what is fascinating is the meme that is circling around Benziger's well-meaning comment. And this, I think is the second one that may catch on. A Pimp Named DaveR writes:

         Hitler: [invades Poland]

         Poland: [suffers huge caualties, surrenders, does not regain its full freedom and independence until the 90's]

         Jeanette Daniels Benzinger: "Poland is lovely in the fall."

    Author Burneko responds with,

         Hindenburg: [explodes]

         Dozens: [die]

         Jeanette Daniels Benziger: "I admire this airship and will recommend it to my uncle."

    C.A. Pinkham

         Challenger: [explodes]

         Nation: [mourns]

         Jeanette Daniels Benziger: "I find these odd, mid-day fireworks to be quite lovely."

    ebonyandIverson bats fourth:

         Andrew Jackson: "Hey, Indians... GTFO."

         Native Americans: [trek from their ancestral home to Oklahoma, may die, get smallpox blankets]

         Jeanette Daniels Benziger: "I do love a nice walk. I will recommend this trail to my sister-in-law."
  11. So there we have it. A birthday cake, misogyny, political spew, a brief history lesson, snarky analysis, and two new memes. It has been a good day on the Internet.

    Raise your hand if the thought of a line of t-shirts crossed your mind right there. Talk amongst yourselves while I Google to find out what the copyright would be on that...

  12. (Giving credit to where credit is due, the recipe was originally found on the Tablespoon website.)
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