- Having spent the majority of my life up until 18 in a very black community w/ few white people, some cultural differences still confound me.
//twitter.com/iSmashFizzle/status/692716363362799616
— Ashley C. Ford (@iSmashFizzle)Thu, Jan 28 2016 14:30:25 - Growing up I was often called too sensitive/too friendly. When I went to college, more than a few times I was called "harsh" or "brash".
//twitter.com/iSmashFizzle/status/692716871632687105
— Ashley C. Ford (@iSmashFizzle)Thu, Jan 28 2016 14:32:26 - One of the first things I learned by being around white people was that they didn't like to be corrected or told I was upset directly.
//twitter.com/iSmashFizzle/status/692717309937475584
— Ashley C. Ford (@iSmashFizzle)Thu, Jan 28 2016 14:34:11 - If I was passive-aggressive (which I had a hard time with), that was okay. But no matter how nicely I said I was upset, it was "mean".
//twitter.com/iSmashFizzle/status/692717631640621056
— Ashley C. Ford (@iSmashFizzle)Thu, Jan 28 2016 14:35:28 - These conversations tended to happen with white women. White men didn't call me "mean", they called me "ghetto" or "scary". I was confused!
//twitter.com/iSmashFizzle/status/692718122638401536
— Ashley C. Ford (@iSmashFizzle)Thu, Jan 28 2016 14:37:25 - Yes! It's cultural. Different communities learned to deal with conflict in different ways. https://twitter.com/mathistanisha/status/692718242599702528 …
//twitter.com/iSmashFizzle/status/692718482048339969
— Ashley C. Ford (@iSmashFizzle)Thu, Jan 28 2016 14:38:50 - I've found that a big barrier to conversations about race is kind of the same issue. Black people talk about race all the time no big deal.
//twitter.com/iSmashFizzle/status/692718722293850113
— Ashley C. Ford (@iSmashFizzle)Thu, Jan 28 2016 14:39:48 - But lots of white people are either raised to believe NOTICING someone is a different race or talking about race is rude, taboo, gauche.
//twitter.com/iSmashFizzle/status/692719111059673089
— Ashley C. Ford (@iSmashFizzle)Thu, Jan 28 2016 14:41:20 - Me saying things like, "Black people gotta have cornbread at Thanksgiving" had them like, "Why is everything about race with you?"
//twitter.com/iSmashFizzle/status/692720328611598336
— Ashley C. Ford (@iSmashFizzle)Thu, Jan 28 2016 14:46:11 - There were literally white girls on my floor who were like, "We think you're so funny, but you just, like, bring up your blackness a lot."
//twitter.com/iSmashFizzle/status/692720546124034049
— Ashley C. Ford (@iSmashFizzle)Thu, Jan 28 2016 14:47:02 - And me putting my foot down about them using words like "ghetto" or "gay" turned into me being "intense" or "mean".
//twitter.com/iSmashFizzle/status/692720784708624384
— Ashley C. Ford (@iSmashFizzle)Thu, Jan 28 2016 14:47:59 - I'd never been in a situation where talking about my blackness was considered a bad/rude thing. As if it would be better to let them forget.
//twitter.com/iSmashFizzle/status/692721307201454080
— Ashley C. Ford (@iSmashFizzle)Thu, Jan 28 2016 14:50:04 - I didn't want to make people uncomfortable, but I also wanted to be able to have conversations about my life, and *I* am black.
//twitter.com/iSmashFizzle/status/692721879451340801
— Ashley C. Ford (@iSmashFizzle)Thu, Jan 28 2016 14:52:20 - I brought this up because I feel like black women specifically get accused of being "mean" for essentially not agreeing with white people.
//twitter.com/iSmashFizzle/status/692722501831528448
— Ashley C. Ford (@iSmashFizzle)Thu, Jan 28 2016 14:54:49 - And don't be obtuse, because you know I don't mean every white person in the whole world.
//twitter.com/iSmashFizzle/status/692722683973345280
— Ashley C. Ford (@iSmashFizzle)Thu, Jan 28 2016 14:55:32 - We tend to be a direct people & you have to be able to discern the difference between THAT and meanness. They aren't the same. Never were.
//twitter.com/iSmashFizzle/status/692723349424881664
— Ashley C. Ford (@iSmashFizzle)Thu, Jan 28 2016 14:58:11 - There are all kinds of mean people, but black women are regularly coded that way. Why? We're impatient with passive-agressive behavior.
//twitter.com/iSmashFizzle/status/692724356343042048
— Ashley C. Ford (@iSmashFizzle)Thu, Jan 28 2016 15:02:11 - If we're friends & you stop talking to me, or you roll your eyes behind my back, I'm not a mind-reader! I'm gonna ask you what's good!
//twitter.com/iSmashFizzle/status/692724693858717696
— Ashley C. Ford (@iSmashFizzle)Thu, Jan 28 2016 15:03:31 - Just like if you keep saying words that offend me, I'm not talking about it with every mutual friend we have, I'm going to talk to you.
//twitter.com/iSmashFizzle/status/692724972331098112
— Ashley C. Ford (@iSmashFizzle)Thu, Jan 28 2016 15:04:38 - Imagine how frustrating it is for black women in leadership positions. Every time they need to address something you get called mean?
//twitter.com/iSmashFizzle/status/692725580396171265
— Ashley C. Ford (@iSmashFizzle)Thu, Jan 28 2016 15:07:03 - Now, lots of black women have learned to be less "intense" to succeed in very white industries, but what an awful thing to have to learn.
//twitter.com/iSmashFizzle/status/692725917278453760
— Ashley C. Ford (@iSmashFizzle)Thu, Jan 28 2016 15:08:23 - Black women at work who can't say, "That offends me" because it might affect the trajectory of their entire career. "Not a team-player."
//twitter.com/iSmashFizzle/status/692726247072333824
— Ashley C. Ford (@iSmashFizzle)Thu, Jan 28 2016 15:09:42 - The worst is when you're a black woman (or man) who gets promoted and asked to keep the POC who you supervise "Under control". That happens.
//twitter.com/iSmashFizzle/status/692726819485831168
— Ashley C. Ford (@iSmashFizzle)Thu, Jan 28 2016 15:11:58 - I think white folks have to ask themselves, when black women are around me, how much of themselves do I demand they leave at the door?
//twitter.com/iSmashFizzle/status/692727287523991553
— Ashley C. Ford (@iSmashFizzle)Thu, Jan 28 2016 15:13:50 - I'm rambling, but it's true. You should talk to any black women friends you have who went to PWI's or worked with a lot of white folks.
//twitter.com/iSmashFizzle/status/692728199667671041
— Ashley C. Ford (@iSmashFizzle)Thu, Jan 28 2016 15:17:27
