Celebrating Mothers with Disabilities

Twitter chat in recognition of Mother's Day

  1. Disabled Parenting Project invites mothers with #disabilities for a live Twitter chat, Friday, May 12 at 2pm Eastern: #DPPMomsDay https://t.co/96idjJUxQ2
    Disabled Parenting Project invites mothers with #disabilities for a live Twitter chat, Friday, May 12 at 2pm Eastern: #DPPMomsDay pic.twitter.com/96idjJUxQ2
  2. Today 11:00 am pst = #DPPMomsDay Twitter chat. Check out this great video re: Living Life as a Blind Parent  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJ0o1UhctEw&feature=share 
  3. Welcome to today’s Twitter chat! The focus of the #DPPMomsDay Twitter chat is to celebrate mothers with disabilities.
  4. Twitter chats hosted by @disparenting follow the Q1 or Question 1 format followed by Answer 1 or A1, as in... #DPPMomsDay
  5. For example, Q1. What time does the #DPPMomsDay Twitter chat begin? A1. Right now! Are you ready? #DPPMomsDay
  6. Let's start with introductions. Who's participating in today's chat? #DPPMomsDay
  7. My name is Robyn and I am one of the co-founders of the Disabled Parenting Project.  http://www.disabledparenting.com  #DPPMomsDay
  8. @disparenting Nicole, 38, SAHM to 10 month old daughter. Former public health researcher. #dppmomsday
  9. Hi I'm Dr. Erin Andrews, a disabled mom and psychologist by profession. One of the cofounders of the DPP #dppmomsday
  10. Let’s begin… Q1. What do you think are the biggest challenges facing mothers with #disabilities? #DPPMomsDay
  11. My name is Tammie and I have 18-year-old daughter I'm a quadriplegic for 18 years #dppmomsday
  12. I think it's the criticism of people that are able bodied. #dppmomsday
  13. Good afternoon. Happy to be joining in the annual celebration of us #dppmomsday
  14. A1 Yes and helping our kids deal with AB adults' and kids' reactions as well. #dppmomsday
  15. Q1. What do you think are the biggest challenges facing mothers with #disabilities? #DPPMomsDay
  16. A1: The biggest challenge remain society's barriers-many of which are attitudes. Self-doubt is sometimes a barrier too. #DPPMomsDay
  17. A1: Ignorance and availability of services and supports to meet our unique needs. @disparenting #dppmomsday
  18. @StacyRogersHart @disparenting Should more information come from health care providers, peers with disabilities, or others? #DPPMomsDay
  19. @disparenting A1: opinions of AB folks including medical and social service providers, but also those closest to us. #dppmomsday
  20. Q2. What has been the most helpful tool (adaptive parenting technique, equip etc) to facilitate your motherhood w/ a disability? #DPPMomsDay
  21. I have an amazing support system. I've always been optimistic person. Also try to help educate them. #dppmomsday
  22. @UppityBlindMom A1 I think the answer really depends on type of disability and support systems that are already in place. #dppmomsday
  23. A1: Always depends on where we are in life. I'm struggling with health more than I have before as a mom so different barriers. #DPPMomsDay
  24. @DrKaraAyers Self doubt is, I think, a bigger hurdle than many of us (myself included) are willing to admit publicly #dppmomsday
  25. A2. Honestly, a supportive parenting partner. Having someone who knows my needs and helps support me. @disparenting #dppmomsday
  26. Q2 My wheelchair, ironically. My power chair is crucial 2 facilitating my ability 2 care for 2 young children #theyliketoride #dppmomsday
  27. @NicSchickling self-doubt creeps in when we are most vulnerable-in pain, overwhelmed, et. I have learned from work of @BreneBrown #DPPMomsDay
  28. @disparenting A2: baby stage stuff for this w/c using mom: arm's reach co-sleeper, lotus family zip down travel crib, Lapbaby, baby k'tan. #dppmomsday
  29. @disparenting My limitations as a result of my congenital disability have changed as I've gotten older so again not one answer #dppmomsday
  30. A2. To expound, when I was a younger mom with my now teens, I definitely felt more isolated because we didn't know my disability #dppmomsday
  31. Q3. What do you think is the biggest misconception about mothers with disabilities and how do we change it? #DPPMomsDay
  32. @asparenting @disparenting So true. Lucky & blessed to have a partner who has never doubted my parenting abilities #hesakeeper #dppmomsday
  33. A2:The universal design of SO much technology helps along w the option to outsource services-even online grocery shopping. #DPPMomsDay
  34. @disparenting Q2 Not trying to be difficult but it is important to not think of disability in static terms #dppmomsday
  35. A2. I felt the need to do more than I could. With my near 3 yr old, we have so much set up where I don't have so much problems. #dppmomsday
  36. A2 With my kid, I looped a "Big and Tall" belt through the car seat handle, used my lap and looped belt around WC back. Worked! #dppmomsday
  37. A2: I can't think of a single parenting tool I've bought that was INTENDED to help me as a disabled mom. Creativity helps. #DPPMomsDay
  38. A3. Misconceptions: Is that we're incapable. I think for autistic parents, we need more to show our abilities. @disparenting #dppmomsday
  39. @disparenting That it is unfair to the child. It's just assuming that we can't do anything because we are disabled #dppmomsday
  40. @DrKaraAyers A2:There are times I need to use Peapod Gorcery Delivery and hurray for Amazon too #dppmomsday
  41. @DrKaraAyers - Yes. I got baby carriers for my youngest. And found that they make a huge difference that I never intended. #dppmomsday
  42. @disparenting A3: that we are unable to have children, that our kids will be pwd, that we are unequipped to care for children. #dppmomsday
  43. Q3. What do you think is the biggest misconception about mothers with disabilities and how do we change it? #DPPMomsDay
  44. My dx (OI) is static but how it impacts my life can change. Healing from 1st fracture in 12 years-So answering on my now. #DPPMomsDay  https://twitter.com/ladau_ellen/status/863096442797400064 
  45. @disparenting A3 I agree with @tammie_reed the pervasive assumption that having a disabled mom makes our kids life harder #dppmomsday
  46. @lalindal @ladau_ellen - Yes! Even a mental/developmental disability, I find #Amazon delivery to be an absolute must! #dppmomsday
  47. @disparenting A2: Agree w/ @DrKaraAyers: creativity. Creativity and persistence despite cultural discouragement physically and emotionally. #DPPMomsDay
  48. Q4. What are the strengths that come from being the child of a mother with disabilities? #DPPMomsDay
  49. @disparenting That we haven't thought this thing through or planned for parenthood #dppmomsday
  50. @lalindal An Amazon prime membership or re-upping a membership is my new go-to baby shower gift for all moms #dppmomsday
  51. I am a disabled parent and a single parent with a son with autism who's disability is very hard for me these days. #Physical #dppmomsday
  52. @dwarfparents @disparenting @DrKaraAyers YES laugh when "amazing how you do X,Y,&Z" It's called creativity and u can do it 2 #dppmomsday
  53. @StacyRogersHart There aren't many products for new disabled parents. We want to change that! #DPPMomsDay
  54. 4. A my daughter and I just had this discussion she said so many people freak out @ little things like an exam. #dppmomsday
  55. @sittingpretty61Dorothy, glad you've joined us. Single moms are warriors #dppmomsday
  56. @disparenting Q4: My daughter @emily_ladau and I share the same disability and I know she would agree we derive strength from each other #dppmomsday
  57. @disparenting A4: Even at 10 mon old my daughter has figured out that I do things differently than dad. She's incredibly patient & adaptable #dppmomsday
  58. A4: My strength comes from recognizing my own limits. I see so many able-bodied parents who ignore theirs. @disparenting #dppmomsday
  59. A4: My kids are more inclusive, creative, and for better or worse do have an early understanding of ableism. #DPPMomsDay
  60. @disparenting I think they learned not to discriminate based on how people are different #dppmomsday
  61. A4: Our family is also more collaborative than I see some. We all pitch in. Gender roles aren't restrictive either. #DPPMomsDay
  62. Q5. What are you doing to end discrimination against parents with disabilities? #DPPMomsDay
  63. @disparenting A4. Its made my kids more adaptive and flexible. Skills gonna serve them well in life #DPPMomsDay
  64. @disparenting @StacyRogersHart But the baby market is so big now that it's easier to find things that we can adapt than in the past. #dppmomsday
  65. A4: Also sharing a disability with my children, I've been able to expose them to positivity about their disability. #dppmomsday
  66. 4A. My son, who is 20 with ASD is one of my caregivers which has helped him to be independent and start community college. #dppmomsday
  67. A5. I have my blog and present about the importance of language we use with regards to disability. @disparenting #dppmomsday
  68. A4: That's a great point. I also hope to model this for my kids. Knowing our limits is a strength. #DPPMomsDay  https://twitter.com/asparenting/status/863098995933143040 
  69. @disparenting Q3: That we CAN do it with independence and grace. Just not everyday is graceful nor w/o help, as every mother. #DPPMomsDay
  70. A5 I went to my kid's 2nd grade class and read a book to the kids. They loved it! #dppmomsday
  71. A5. I stay open about my disability at all times. A lot of parents with disabilities know they can open up to me about theirs. #dppmomsday
  72. First time doing is absolutely incredible to hear other peoples opinions #dppmomsday
  73. @disparenting A5: I tell everyone our story. Perceptions change when people put a face to an experience. This started on day 1 in the NICU #dppmomsday
  74. A5 I should add - After the book, I explained my & hubby's disabilities & answered. Good thing to do #dppmomsday
  75. Q5. Too long disability community splintered. I'm challenging my own biases. Learn about & respect moms w/other disabilities #DPPMomsDay
  76. Do any of your states have legislation to stop discrimination against parents with disabilities? #DPPMomsDay
  77. A5: I counter discrimination by trying to provide and promote more examples of parents with disabilities. #DPPMomsDay
  78. @disparenting - My state doesn't. Plan to start working on that after my youngest enters K.. Keeping up with her is hard! #dppmomsday
  79. @disparenting A5: looking forward to the day when I can approach this issue from an academic policy level again, but also love SAHM life #dppmomsday
  80. .@Able_SC and advocates just got a bill passed yesterday to end discrimination against parents with disabilities!! #DPPMomsDay
  81. @tammie_reed @disparenting Is it newly passed? If so, that's great news! I'm originally from KY and it was one of the states with outdated policy. #DPPMomsDay
  82. Q6. What kinds of attitudes have you encountered toward your role as a mother with disabilities? #DPPMomsDay
  83. @disparenting A4: My AH child knows that we need help as LPs, but so does everyone else. AH child knows job as "reacher" for our family. #DPPMomsDay
  84. A6: The assumption that my kids (6, 10, and 8 wks) "take care" of me and their dad. Not the case-and a little laughable! #DPPMomsDay  https://twitter.com/disparenting/status/863101619763806209 
  85. @drerinandrews I see further splintering among CP Moms depending on level of mobility. Only participate in cross disability grps now #dppmomsday
  86. A6. With my youngest, mostly positive. With my older two, not so much. School often assumes I'm not competent. @disparenting #dppmomsday
  87. Yes-I can learn from other moms with similar dx but more often our barriers are more similar across disability type. #DPPMomsDay  https://twitter.com/NicSchickling/status/863102163966451712 
  88. Q7. Where do you go to get information on parenting with a disability? #DPPMomsDay
  89. @disparenting That my daughter has less of a childhood because of me and that I can't play with her or take care of her #dppmomsday
  90. A7. I don't get my information from anywhere for parenting as an autistic person. There's a couple of FB groups. #disparenting #dppmomsday
  91. A7: I find it helpful to keep up with mainstream parenting gadgets and programs to see how we can make them fit. #DPPMomsDay
  92. @dwarfparents @disparenting Visiting classrooms when my kids were in elementary school was always my favorite. #dppmomsday
  93. @disparenting A6: That I have a cadre of "support staff" helping me. Always leads to a discussion of the scope of long term supports. #dppmomsday
  94. Q8. What is the most unique or funny disability-related connection you have with your child(ren)? #DPPMomsDay
  95. @disparenting Q6: Parents socially engineer for exclusion. No matter how much effort we make to include all. It's just dwarfism. #DPPMomsDay
  96. @NicSchickling Hate when phys dis ppl say, I don't have a cog/mental disability As if thats reason not 2 have the right 2 parent #dppmomsday
  97. A8: My daughter (6-no disability) has impressive w/c skills and plans to play in an inclusive w/c b-ball program someday. #DPPMomsDay
  98. @disparenting A7: other PWD moms on the internet and in real life, general internet searches, but mostly I've figured out things on my own. #DPPMomsDay
  99. @drerinandrews @NicSchickling That always upsets me! Developmental and psychiatric disabilities do NOT mean I can't parent. #dppmomsday
  100. So TIL about #DPPMomsDay as a way to celebrate Moms w/ Disabilities. As one myself, I'm thrilled to support and contribute!
  101. A8:Around 3, my daughter said ppl with "possibilities" instead of disability-especially funny because I'm very anti-inspo porn. #DPPMomsDay
  102. Q9. How do you and/or your child(ren) talk to others about disability? #DPPMomsDay
  103. I don't often talk about my health issues on here, but I have #EDS & it effects my entire life. Especially as a parent. #DPPMomsDay
  104. A8 my 5yo son mixed food in bowl by holding side of the bowl w/ his mouth and stirs with one hand #dudeyouhave2hands #dppmomsday
  105. A8. Favorite story: Our kitchen full of autistic people when kids came home. They got excited when everyone was autistic too. #dppmomsday
  106. Would love to read your responses, we hope that #DPPMomsDay continues through the weekend as ppl have time.  https://twitter.com/milaficent/status/863104501594677248 
  107. Having community and your child flapping with excitement at being a part of it.. It's awesome. #dppmomsday
  108. @disparenting A8: I was a NICU preemie, my daughter was a NICU preemie. Seeing us together generated good will among nursesin our early days #DPPMomsDay
  109. I was kicked off my health ins while pregnant for a pre-existing condition. W/o MDs state insurance I wouldn't have my daughter #DPPMomsDay
  110. So to me this, the ACA, and the AHCA are DEEPLY personal. And I need to stop keeping that story to myself #DPPMomsDay
  111. I hid it before last week, because part of me WAS still scared of ACA being repealed. But it's time to speak up #DPPMomsDay
  112. Q10. Last question… What advice do you have for women with #disabilities who are considering motherhood? #DPPMomsDay
  113. @disparenting A8: whenever a nurse seemed skeptical abt pwd parenting I would gently say that mine was the outcome wanted 4 every NICU baby. #DPPMomsDay
  114. So look for a longer post linked from my Medium account tomorrow #DPPMomsDay
  115. A10: Don't have regrets abt parenthood. We can be and are amazing parents. #DPPMomsDay
  116. @milaficent U R so right. Political is personal. Ppl need 2 know who suffers when #preexistingconditions excluded. Women & kids #DPPMomsDay
  117. The Disabled Parenting Project is always looking for guest bloggers, please let us know if you’re interested! #DPPMomsDay
  118. Q10 - Even able-bodied parents need support. Please ask and accept help from your community. You can do it! @disparenting #dppmomsday
  119. Happy Mother’s Day to all the amazing disabled mamas out there! #DPPMomsDay
  120. @disparenting A10: Plan ahead but be fearless. Your "disability skillset" is totally applicable to parenthood. #DPPMomsDay
  121. @disparenting A10. Never will be a perfect or right time. Do ur research & Go for it if u r considering conceiving or adopting #DPPMomsDay
  122. TY for the engaging conversation! This officially concludes the chat. But you can still continue using #DPPMomsDay.
  123. @drerinandrews @milaficent - Yes. Medicaid cuts w/ AHCA scare me so much. Coming up with alternate plans for kids. It's scary. #dppmomsday
  124. Be sure to check out our website and follow us on Facebook! #DPPMomsDay
  125. Great hearing from all you wonderful disabled moms. You rock! #DPPMomsDay
  126. RT @disparenting The Disabled Parenting Project is always looking for guest bloggers, please let us know if you’re interested! #DPPMomsDay
  127. Happy Mother's Day to moms and hopeful moms with disabilities. Thanks for joining in the chat! #DPPMomsDay
  128. RT @disparenting Be sure to check out our website and follow us on Facebook! #DPPMomsDay
  129. Happy to read that this legislation in support of disabled parenting, to aid in the end of discrimination was passed!! #DPPMomsDay  https://twitter.com/disparenting/status/863101395599319040 
  130. With services, I'd like to see pilot projects to support disabled parents with IADLs. Housekeeping, etc. #dppmomsday
  131. @drerinandrews A2: I joke that I rode into this work on the back of my dad's power chair. It allowed him to do "dad stuff" #dppmomsday
  132. @disparenting A4: I will be available to answer my kids questions and concerns when they have a "bad dwarf day" in a way AH moms can't. #DPPMomsDay
  133. @DrKaraAyers A4: YES!!! Our kids are more likely to notice when ppl are excluded and get mad about it. #DPPMomsDay
  134. @disparenting A6: while laying on the ER table delivering my kid via C-sect the anesthesiologist "encouraged" me to have my tubes tied #DPPMomsDay
  135. @disparenting A9: we see our dwarfism as a cultural affiliation. Our kids see most disabilities that way #DPPMomsDay
  136. @dwarfparents @disparenting A5: we befriend a lot of AH families with LP kids so when their kids become parents their own parents won't doubt them #DPPMomsDay
  137. Says a lot that #ActuallyAutistic ppl are participating in #IMFARChat but not #DPPMomsDay. #AutisticParents are hidden & underrepresented <3
  138. @disparenting @DrKaraAyers A2: right now, an onbuhimo-style carrier (no waist strap!). And Amazon Prime. #DPPMomsDay
  139. @disparenting A8: We do the same sports/activity to stay fit. When DS "plays" #disability card, I become reference guide. Can't trick mom. #DPPMomsDay
  140. @disparenting A10: Ur brilliant, limitless, deserve love, to be loved n to create life via conceive or adopt. Don't let the stats speak.#DPPMomsDay