- However, if you take some of the obstacles or hard phases as the discouraging signs, it may make the process of shifting to another parenting style harder than your expectations. For example, if you expect your child to act in a certain way and the response is not positive or up to your expectations, you should try to understand the reasons or causes of the changes. For instance, there is a strong possibility that your child is holding on to something from the past or he/she is trapped in some emotional knot that recurs in the behavior or can be seen in the attitude of your child. Moreover, if you come across the above-mentioned problems, it is time for you to make the change in terms of raising your children.
Begin From Yourself
If you want to switch to peaceful parenting, it will begin from you, especially if you make a promise to yourself to take charge of your sentiments and mental state. In simple words, if you find yourself in situations where you may lose emotional control or which threatens your emotional well-being, you can take a break to relax oneself. The second point to remember is that you focus on your emotional state in terms of noticing the signs; the more aware you are of the changes, the more you can control it. For instance, if you resist getting angry or reacting to a situation or you make a choice that is against your physical or primordial impulses, you will feel more relieved and confident. Moreover, taking control of your emotional state is not an easy job, you will have to stick with the routine and ultimately, you will see the outcomes you desire. To put simply, the more you practice pauses before reacting or responding to a problematic situation involving your child, the more your mind will develop the inhibiting mechanism to facilitate your control over emotions.
- Emphasize on Connecting with Children
If you are not able to make good connections with your children, you will not get better at peaceful parenting. In other words, the strength of your connection with your children will also determine the quality of parenting. For example, in some instances, children often seem ungrateful or they don’t respond to your parenting as you are expecting them to and the most likely cause of this behavior has to do with the missing element of connection with your child. Furthermore, if you want to improve the connection with your children, experts suggest that you spend at least half an hour with your child every day. Likewise, if you participate in an activity which is enjoyable for you and your child in form of a ride on toys, a game or mutual study, the chances of improving interaction will be enhanced.
After developing or improving the level of connection with your children, the next step is to take your children into confidence in terms of making them understand what you are intending to do and your motivation for changing the parenting style. For example, if you can explain the need and advantages of a different parenting style, chances are they will also show support or they will try to create the favorable environment for you. In addition, if you make your children known about your emotions and love for them despite the mistake you make with them; it would help to clear various confusions and misunderstanding with your children. Furthermore, if you can involve the children in your process of reconciling and making changes, half of the process will become less hard.
- Ask for Help
If you want to make your transition a success, you will probably need cooperation or participation of all the family members. Therefore, if you can make it clear why being kind to each other and supportive is necessary, the activity can become interesting for the children as well. Similarly, you can also explain to the children that you will try hard to control your emotional state so that you get better at raising them. In other words, if your children provide you with assurances in form of an understanding and the desired attitude, it would imply that you can count on them. For instance, if you lose control, your children can show support in form of following the rules or providing the environment that will help you with your control and parenting techniques.
- Win-Win Strategies
Understanding the side of your children is another step that will help to decrease the tension or causes of anger or fights among the siblings. So, the role of parents as the mediator and a person who can create or introduce win-win strategies is imperative in maintaining a good ambiance in the house. Therefore, parents should not downplay the role played by them, especially when it comes to sorting out the problems of siblings and working on the parenting styles.
- Rules and Limits
Even though the role of understanding and looking at things from the perspective of children is very important, however, if you compromise on setting the boundaries or rules, the expected results will not be achieved. When the role of rules is mentioned, the parent often assumes that it is applicable to children only; however, if you apply the same principle to yourself, the problems will be resolved to a great degree. In other words, if you can underline the significance of the rules in helping to manage the parenting and conduct of your children, the tasks or goals are easy to accomplish.
- Anticipate the Emotions
If you encounter an emotional rift among your children, it is better to address the issues head-on rather than letting the kids repress the feelings or punishing them because it would ultimately harm the relation with you and the bond of siblings. The role of jealousy and aggression in the children emotional makeup cannot be denied, rather the best approach is to address the grievances in form of talking to them or sorting it out with all the siblings.