10. Alec Baldwin: "Of all the talk shows, yours is most geographically convenient to my home."
9. Barbara Walters: "Dave, did you know you wear the same cologne as Muammar Gaddafi?"
8. Steve Martin: "Your extensive plastic surgery was a necessity – and a mistake."
7. Jerry Seinfeld: "Dave, I have no idea what I'll do when you go off the air. You know? I just thought of something. I’ll be fine."
6. Jim Carrey: "Honestly, Dave, I've always found you to be a bit of an over-actor."
5. Chris Rock: "I'm just glad your show is being given to another white guy."
4. Julia Louis-Dreyfus: "Thanks for letting me take part in another hugely disappointing series finale."
3. Peyton Manning: "Dave, you are to comedy what I am to comedy."
2. Tina Fey: "Thanks for finally proving men can be funny."
1. Bill Murray: "Dave, I'll never have the money I owe you."