Chris Sawyer@ahchrissawyer

OH. MY. GOD.

Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:16:07

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http://twitter.com/ahchrissawyer/status/259508270652334081

— Chris Sawyer (@ahchrissawyer)Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:16:07

Chris Sawyer@ahchrissawyer

SEX CRISIS

Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:16:37

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http://twitter.com/ahchrissawyer/status/259508396099768322

— Chris Sawyer (@ahchrissawyer)Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:16:37

Chris Sawyer@ahchrissawyer

NOT MINE

Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:16:45

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http://twitter.com/ahchrissawyer/status/259508428647579650

— Chris Sawyer (@ahchrissawyer)Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:16:45

Chris Sawyer@ahchrissawyer

STRANGERS IN OUR HOUSE... BANGING

Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:17:00

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http://twitter.com/ahchrissawyer/status/259508491419537408

— Chris Sawyer (@ahchrissawyer)Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:17:00

Dave Cribb@davecribb

So I'm crashing at a mate's and someone has just started having sex in the flat. Thing is, everyone that lives here is in the living room

Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:18:09

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http://twitter.com/davecribb/status/259508781241753601

— Dave Cribb (@davecribb)Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:18:09

Dave Cribb@davecribb

We're trying to get through to the one housemate who's not here to double check he's not done a surprise return

Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:19:28

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http://twitter.com/davecribb/status/259509114093334528

— Dave Cribb (@davecribb)Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:19:28

Dave Cribb@davecribb

Thing is, if it is him, he's made a baffling decision to go past his own room and up a flight of stairs to a different one. #sexgate

Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:20:20

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http://twitter.com/davecribb/status/259509330020294657

— Dave Cribb (@davecribb)Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:20:20

Chris Sawyer@ahchrissawyer

The sex room's owner, @seanAthorne, has been located. He's in Bristol. Not having sex, not in London.

Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:20:48

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http://twitter.com/ahchrissawyer/status/259509448706490369

— Chris Sawyer (@ahchrissawyer)Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:20:48

Sean Thorne@seanAthorne

Yeah butters crack heads having sex on my stuff. Not the news I want to hear when I'm trying to enjoy wrestlemania 20

Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:22:34

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http://twitter.com/seanAthorne/status/259509894238060544

— Sean Thorne (@seanAthorne)Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:22:34

Dave Cribb@davecribb

We're through to the missing housemate. He's on Line 1, and emphatically not in London tonight. He's also (unsurprisingly) a bit annoyed.

Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:24:44

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http://twitter.com/davecribb/status/259510437845037056

— Dave Cribb (@davecribb)Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:24:44

Chris Sawyer@ahchrissawyer

To clarify. We have NO IDEA WHO THEY ARE.

Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:24:32

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http://twitter.com/ahchrissawyer/status/259510387198816256

— Chris Sawyer (@ahchrissawyer)Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:24:32

Dave Cribb@davecribb

So. The situ: Two people definitely having sex. Both definitely don't live here. I feel a tad responsible for leaving the door on the latch

Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:26:35

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http://twitter.com/davecribb/status/259510904029339648

— Dave Cribb (@davecribb)Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:26:35

Chris Sawyer@ahchrissawyer

2 minute warning has been given. I've turned bad cop. Actually... there are only bad cops. All the housemates are bad cop. BAD COP. What the

Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:27:04

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http://twitter.com/ahchrissawyer/status/259511022904283136

— Chris Sawyer (@ahchrissawyer)Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:27:04

Sean Thorne@seanAthorne

2 minute warning?! @ahchrissawyer Why not make them feel extra at home and offer them some hot chocolate and my Maryland cookies.

Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:31:28

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http://twitter.com/seanAthorne/status/259512132083802112

— Sean Thorne (@seanAthorne)Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:31:28

Chris Sawyer@ahchrissawyer

Are YOU missing a housemate tonight? Have you checked? How do you KNOW they're not a sex-burglar?

Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:28:28

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http://twitter.com/ahchrissawyer/status/259511378589663233

— Chris Sawyer (@ahchrissawyer)Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:28:28

Chris Sawyer@ahchrissawyer

Yep. I've got eyeball on em. They were at the house party down the corridor. They were very pleased to see me. Perhaps *slightly* sheepish.

Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:32:48

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http://twitter.com/ahchrissawyer/status/259512465979744257

— Chris Sawyer (@ahchrissawyer)Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:32:48

Chris Sawyer@ahchrissawyer

Me and my Dad once found some birds mating in our loft. Saw em off with a rolled up copy of Four Four Two magazine. Same?

Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:37:06

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http://twitter.com/ahchrissawyer/status/259513551327203329

— Chris Sawyer (@ahchrissawyer)Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:37:06

Chris Sawyer@ahchrissawyer

Upon leaving the room they will walk a line-up of housemates. Like visiting royals. Except I'll do the Philip style "who on EARTH are you?"

Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:43:29

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http://twitter.com/ahchrissawyer/status/259515155933691904

— Chris Sawyer (@ahchrissawyer)Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:43:29

Dave Cribb@davecribb

Resident-in-residence @ahchrissawyer has given them a two minute warning. They've misplaced a lot of their clothes, seemingly #sexgate

Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:45:26

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http://twitter.com/davecribb/status/259515646663094272

— Dave Cribb (@davecribb)Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:45:26

Dave Cribb@davecribb

Point of order: my friends live in a converted peanut factory. It's very much a warehouse vibe. Just in case you were confused by the video

Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:47:32

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http://twitter.com/davecribb/status/259516175732572160

— Dave Cribb (@davecribb)Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:47:32

Dave Cribb@davecribb

I feel that I must manifest my utter respect at their audacity to enter a flat they don't live in, find a free room and just get on with it

Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:49:25

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http://twitter.com/davecribb/status/259516647507910656

— Dave Cribb (@davecribb)Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:49:25

Chris Sawyer@ahchrissawyer

In the middle of live tweeting the sex crisis, @davecribb has tried to slip away the fact *he* left the door on the latch. Noted... noted.

Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:51:11

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http://twitter.com/ahchrissawyer/status/259517095514107904

— Chris Sawyer (@ahchrissawyer)Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:51:11

Dave Cribb@davecribb

To be fair, they're being ballsy: "Are you serious?" he replies, when asked to leave. (Worth reiterating that NEITHER OF THEM LIVE HERE)

Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:51:24

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http://twitter.com/davecribb/status/259517146906914816

— Dave Cribb (@davecribb)Sat, Oct 20 2012 04:51:24