Fuck @Cherry, the scammy rip-off merchants who deserve to die unloved and alone

Cherry is a car-wash service, one of the many "Hey, this thing is hard, we'll come to you so it's easy" start-ups. I've used them once before, and they've continually sent me reactivation reminders and offers since. Usually it's "We'll give you $7 off your next carwash." Today I got an email…


  1. Ooh!  A free carwash. That's something that will reactivate me.  (My guess: They wanted to make some sort of year-end active user goal).  I get this page:
  2. I click the button, ignoring the dull-gray de-emphasized text.  ("I already know what this service does. I've used them before.")
    I get their usual booking page, try to reserve a car-wash ("Sorry, we're all booked for today."), and only when clicking around do I notice a "Membership" link on their Account page…
  3. Notification Center.png
    Notification Center.png
  4. I have "1 carwash remaining this month".  My next bill date is "12/12/2012".
    No confirmation email.  No banner saying "You're now in a recurring plan."  This is the kind of bullshit that Zynga never dared pull.

    I'm doing a startup. I get the need to improve your retention. I understand how much more profitable recurring payment plans compared to one-time.  But this?
    Fuck you, Cherry.  I'm taking this rant public.
    And I'm going to leave the recurring account open, and demand a chargeback from my bank, so you're going to get hit by that too.  Fuck you very very much.
  5. [POSTSCRIPT] Cherry have changed the button text and cancelled the memberships of those who signed up, which was the correct action. But leaving this here as a reminder to them not to be rancid dickbags in the future.