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  1. Yesterday was Anderlecht keeper Thomas Kaminski's birthday. 

    "Suppose we lose 0-5, that would seriously ruin my birthday," said the 20-year-old before his side's meeting with Paris Saint-Germain. "Ibrahimovic, spare me a world class goal!"

    One suspects that by half-time Kaminski's mum was taking down the banners, scraping the birthday cake slices into the bin and hiding the party bags. Because the Belgium under-21 keeper's prediction was pretty much spot on; PSG scored five goals without reply, with the imperious Zlatan netting four of them.

    Laurent Blanc named what is close to his first choice 11 for the match, with only the injured Thiago Silva missing out.

  2. There was little evidence of what was to come in the opening 10 minutes, with the home side showing admirable enterprise, even trying a few shots from distance. But once Zlatan had opened the scoring in the 17th minute, there was only ever going to be one winner.

    Cavani played in Van der Wiel down the right, and the Dutchman had time to measure a low cross which was gobbled up by Zlatan inside the six-yard box. "The machine is starting to work", noted the BeIN sport commentators. Little did they know quite how well. 1-0.
  3. Anderlecht 0-1 PSG (Goal Zlatan Ibrahimovic)
  4. Anderlecht's reluctance to mark Van der Wiel was to prove their undoing again five minutes later when Ibra doubled his - and PSG's - tally. Again the right-back provided the cross, and this time's Zlatan's finish was even better, an improvised backheel flick at the near post which beat Kaminski all ends up. 2-0.
  5. Indeed, I would maintain PSG didn't play that well throughout the match. We were loose in possession, and Anderlecht cut through our defence on a number of occasions, though they were unable to beat Sirigu. But when you have a player in the kind of form Ibrahimovic is hitting at the moment, who needs to play well? His third goal was the pick of the bunch, a thunderous first-time shot from 30 yards, measured at 100kmph, which rocketed into the top corner. Just watch it, and then watch it again. And again. I have.
  6. Incroyable but de Zlatan Ibrahimovic face à Anderlecht 3 - 0
  7. Anderlecht's defence clearly isn't the best, but that shouldn't take away from the quality of Zlatan's strike. However, the home side contributed to their own downfall in the second half when they gifted a fourth goal to Edinson Cavani.

    N'Sakala appeared to be in little trouble when controlling the ball in his own box. But he fell over, presenting possession to Big Bad Blaise Matuidi. He looked up and delivered a cross to Cavani, who doesn't miss from eight yards. El Matador had a quiet evening, but was in the right place to claim his second Champions League goal for the club.
  8. Anderlecht 0-4 PSG (Goal Edinson Cavani)
  9. Not to be outdone, Zlatan completed the scoring with another fantastic finish, hammering an angled shot across Kaminski and in off the far post. You'll do well to see a better hat-trick this season, and indeed the Swede could have equalled Lionel Messi's Champions League record of five goals in a match, but was twice denied by Kaminski in the closing stages.
  10. Anderlecht 0-5 PSG (Goal Zlatan Ibrahimovic)
  11. I'm sure that was of comfort to the home side. Maybe. 
  12. PSG's victory means they top Group C, and need one victory from their last three matches to seal qualification for the last-16. 
  13. "We had everything tonight," said Laurent Blanc. "Ibra is in excellent shape and he scores a lot of goals. The four tonight were exceptional, it's difficult to say which was the best (...)  Zlatan is a locomotive for the team. He pulls us along."

    A locomotive eh? Certainly it's difficult to find sufficient superlatives to describe Ibra's performance, but I asked my Twitter followers to sum up the Swede in one word:
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