Hello and welcome!


  1. Introduction:
    Society has a very twisted way of viewing people who suffer from a mental illness. They often view them as "A waste of space" or "An inconvenience". This isn't the case yet no one within our society is willing to step up and help rectify the situation by implementing a positive environment. This is why people, like myself, suffer in silence. When someone has cancer, or aids or has the common cold there is help and medication for that person. But when someone is suffering from a mental illness, there isn't anyone there to help. That person is now a burden. 
    This is the kind of attitude that needs to be thrown out the window. If we don't replace our ignorance with compassion and understanding, then those who suffer will continue to suffer and will continue to remain part of the system. A system that doesn't want them. 
    With that introduction, I will now tell you about myself. I am a 29 year old female living somewhere in Canada and I suffer from depression. I have for 22 years and have recently started therapy. I wasn't attending before because it's too expensive and it's hard finding the "right person" and be able to call them your therapist. 
    For the longest time I wasn't admitting that I had a problem nor did I want to admit it out loud. It's one thing to know there isn't something right with you and it's another thing altogether to actually admit it to yourself. It's a huge pill to swallow. Once you've managed to accept the problem, it's a whole other thing having the people in your life accept you the way you are. This is where the stigma comes into play. 
    The person who is suffering will often times think to themselves "There is something wrong with me. People are going to think I'm a freak and or that I'm somehow defective" or they might think "I'm going to be thrown into a mental hospital and pumped full of medication I can't even spell or say and my life will be over". It's with this sort of attitude that people who are suffering feel it's best that they keep this problem quiet. Like I said, they don't want to burden their friends and family because they might think you're defective. 
    Society is mean and strange all at the same time. They like to contradict themselves and yet they love to pray on people and see them suffer. I'm not saying EVERYONE within society is like this, however, there is a good percentage of people out there who view mental illness as a "crazy person's problem" and they feel that, crazy people need to be locked up with the key thrown away. 
    Then we have our family and friends who, for some reason don't understand and then they end up treating you the way society treats you - like a defective problem.  
    Your friends and family are supposed to be the ones whom you can count on. They are supposed to be the ones who you can go to if you need to talk or are seeking support from. They aren't supposed to treat you like you're a burden. They just need to be there for you even if they don't say much. Knowing that they are there makes all the difference in the world. 
    I'm lucky that my Mom is a huge supporter of mine and tries every.single.day. to work with me and understand me. She is a aware that I have a problem and that there is something wrong. Yet, she can't make it all better. It's not like having a cold and you're given some antibiotics that you're supposed to take daily until your cold is all gone. This is something totally different. I feel bad for my Mom because she get the brunt of my mood swings, my outbursts and sees me at my lowest points. But, she is my Mom and she is sticking by me through all of this. 
    I have a boyfriend who is there for me. He doesn't see how I am every single day but he is very aware of how I am. I often times feel bad for him because he doesn't have a "normal girlfriend" and he deserves a normal girlfriend. He wants to understand what I'm going through yet it's hard for me to explain. I do my best yet I don't feel he gets it. But he sticks it out and is staying with me because he loves me. And lastly, I do have a small group of supportive friends - yet I don't see them often nor do I speak to them much. I have days where I would love to call them and talk yet I'm too scared. They all have lives and I don't want to burden them with my problems. I don't want anyone to think I'm complaining. 
    I carry around a lot of guilt, shame and fear. But since I've been in therapy I seem to be opening up more and more. I know with time that things will improve and get better. I have my whole life ahead of me and I know that God has a beautiful plan for me. I just have to sort myself out first and then I can embark on that fresh journey.