"To Mom or Not to Mom"

An open salon on infertility, transition, parenthood and life beyond parenting. Hosted by @KeikoZoll of The Infertility Voice & @PamelaJeanne of Silent Sorority.


  1. Writers Keiko Zoll and Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos came up with a crazy idea: to finally talk about infertility and the culture of motherhood in an open forum, no holds barred. So they came up with "To Mom or Not to Mom," a five-day open salon between their blogs. They opened it up to the adoption/loss/infertility/childfree community - and the response was incredible.
  2. "To Mom or Not to Mom" - An Overview of the Conversation

  3. To Mom or Not to Mom: A 5-Day Open Salon on Infertility, Motherhood and the Silent Sorority:We created this open salon to discuss both sides of the motherhood debate from our unique perspectives (Keio as newly pregnant after donor egg IVF, Pamela as one of the leading childfree authors out there) in a responsorial fashion between our two blogs. 
    Over the next five days and culminating in an open Twitter discussion #ALIMomSalon this Friday, 10/26 at 12:30pm EDT, we seek to parse out the concerns and vulnerabilities of transition within the ALI community without tripping over political correctness and delicate sensibilities.
  4. Monday: Exploring New Paradigms in Life After Infertility

  5. Keiko began with a piece exploring survivor's guilt and her shifting identity as blogger:
  6. Pamela shared her own unique perspective about life in in the perpetual motherhood waiting room:
  7. Tuesday: Trading Places & Considering Alternative Outcomes

  8. Keiko envisions what her life would have been like had her first cycle of IVF not worked:
  9. Pamela wonders how motherhood and nurturing can still come to the non-mom:
  10. Other bloggers on both sides of infertility began to join in the salon, imagining what their lives might look like had things turned out differently:
  11. Wednesday: The Culture of Motherhood 

  12. Keiko full owns that she buys into the "Queendom of Mommyhood" and claims her crown:
  13. Pamela cautions against putting moms on pedestals and creating a culture that limits the choices of girls as they grow up:
  14. Folks in the ALI blogosphere had a lot to say about this topic!