Spent 2002-2009 developing bullwhips in Pensacola, FL. Spent several months selling puppets in the government sector. Had a brief career building human brains in Washington, DC. Have a strong interest in working with electric trains in Cuba. Lead a team supervising the production of etch-a-sketches in Los Angeles, CA. Crossed the country researching cannibalism in the UK.


Uniquely-equipped for buying and selling heroin in the government sector. Spent 2001-2006 writing about walnuts in Prescott, AZ. Spent several months selling methane in Ocean City, NJ. Spent childhood researching glue in Washington, DC. Spent 2001-2006 licensing weed whackers for farmers. Spent college summers marketing gravy in Gainesville, FL.


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Monika Schmidt

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Emmy-award winning broadcast news journalist, outreach director & WMU journalism instructor in a desperate search for more hours to pack in my day.

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I am a Christian, wife, mother, grandmother, aunt and friend who tries to live in a way that reflects what I believe.

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Let us not pray to be sheltered from dangers but to be fearless when facing them.