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Published (M)

The Two Mayors

A story of politics, the universe, family, and the hope that sustains us.

  1. We begin on Monday, February 21st, 9AM.

    It is the day before the election.
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  3. MayorEmanuel
    Hambone just brought the schedule: (1) shake 10,000 voters' hands (2) pick up Ari from the airport (3) keep Ari away from voters. Fuck.
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  4. "Ari" is Ari Emanuel, Rahm's brother. He's a high-profile Hollywood agent; Jeremy Piven's character in Entourage is pretty much directly based on him. The Emanuel brothers have a famously rowdy relationship, prone to fights and loud, profanity-filled arguments.
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  6. MayorEmanuel
    Carl the Intern and Axelrod are directing the InterCorps from "the command center"--a laptop and a map in the backseat of the fucking Civic.
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  7. MayorEmanuel
    Asked Carl how things were going, and he said "In brightest day, in blackest night, no evil shall escape my sight." The fuck does that mean?
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  8. This is the first of several comic book references. In particular, this is part of Green Lantern's oath when he powers up his ring:

    In brightest day, in blackest night,
    No evil shall escape my sight

    Let those who worship evil's might,

    Beware my power... Green Lantern's light!


  9. MayorEmanuel
    Then he had to go running back to the Civic because Axelrod called out that "We need more Corps in sector 2814." What the fuck?
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  10. More Green Lantern references. The earth superhero Green Lantern's actually part of an interstellar police force called the Green Lantern Corps. (InterCorps, get it?) Earth's Green Lantern was assigned sector 2814, which includes a bunch of other planets that he has to protect, too.

    Of course, eventually, Earth winds up with like a half-dozen Green Lanterns. Comic books can never help themselves with this stuff.
  11. MayorEmanuel
    I've said it before, but I'll say it again: Whoever thought it was a good idea to have an election in February was a fucking asshole.
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  12. MayorEmanuel
    The snow's delayed Ari's plane for a couple hours. Probably best if it were delayed until motherfucking Wednesday.
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  13. MayorEmanuel
    Wrapped in a blanket while riding shotgun in the Civic on the way to get Ari from the airport. The wind is cold through the missing window.
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  14. MayorEmanuel
    "Nice blanket, Linus. Fix the fucking airport once your mayor, OK asshole?" Motherfucking Ari. My brother's here.
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  15. MayorEmanuel
    "How come every news clip I see of you, you're acting like a giant walking hernia?" He's here for two fucking days.
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  16. MayorEmanuel
    "I had no clue that the prerequisite for running for mayor was chopping your balls off." We're stuck in fucking stop and go traffic.
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  17. MayorEmanuel
    "Hey, how come your fucking radio doesn't work? What kind of piece of shit car is this?" And I can see Axelrod turning red.
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  18. MayorEmanuel
    "Fucking Spielberg alone gave you enough to buy a fucking Beemer, and you're driving around in this shit?" Uh oh--Axelrod's pulling off.
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  19. Steven Spielberg gave the Emanuel campaign $75,000.
  20. MayorEmanuel
    And now we're all standing outside and Axelrod's yelling "LET'S GO, ASSHOLE!" at Ari. He really loves his fucking car.
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  21. MayorEmanuel
    They're down in the snow, pummeling each other. And I don't even notice the figure behind me until the bag's already over my head. Fuck.
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  22. Whoa.

    Let me just say, I love how he completely changes the entire premise of the story mid-tweet.
  23. MayorEmanuel
    I'm fucking gasping when the bag comes off. We've been driving around for an hour, clearly trying to confuse me. It worked.
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