Storified by Chris McCray · Wed, Mar 06 2013 15:22:34

.@PlanetRecruit Hi. Your online profile system has a flaw, no: UK, United Kingdom or Britain: http://www.twitpic.com/c8uneh http://www.twitpic.com/c8uno4 · Chris McCray

PlanetRecruit - setting up professional body memberships - no United Kingdom on the list. #Fail · cjjmccray

PlanetRecruit - setting up professional body memberships - no Britain on the list either. #Fail · cjjmccray

.@PlanetRecruit The only alternative is to select something like "United States" which makes me look stupid. http://twitpic.com/c8us8i · Chris McCray

@cjjmccray Thanks for your feedback. We are looking into this.

— PlanetRecruit · Tue, Mar 05 2013 08:51:03

@Tayroyd other useless ones: @PlanetRecruit UK based, excluding UK from country drop-down lists, refusing to let you enter data as a result.

— Chris McCray · Tue, Mar 05 2013 06:49:44

@cjjmccray Please can you send us your contact details at marketing@tmdr.com with Twitter in the Subject line. Thanks.

— PlanetRecruit · Tue, Mar 05 2013 08:51:36

@cjjmccray Please include the location using - location after the name and choose any location.

— PlanetRecruit · Tue, Mar 05 2013 08:59:03

Trinity Mirror Digital Recruitment

Trinity Mirror Digital Recruitment is owned by Trinity Mirror plc, a listed media company.

Tmdr.com Whois Lookup - Who.is - Who.is

Corporation Service Company(c) (CSC) The Trusted Partner of More than 50% of the 100 Best Global Brands. Contact us to learn more about o...

Between the verse and chorus in the national anthems of the UK, England and Liechtenstein, is a rising sequence of notes that (for some people in some parts of the UK) is sung with the words "No Surrender." In this brief conversation on Twitter, the notion of using the "Sad Trombone" was developed.

Storified by Chris McCray · Sat, Mar 02 2013 17:53:20

BRITAIN: AT LEAST WE'RE NOT ITALY. OR AFGHANISTAN. Stirring words, there. #BBCQT

— Mark Jones · Thu, Feb 28 2013 15:17:37

@brokentv *Plays national anthem on sad trombone.*

— Karen Wiltshire · Thu, Feb 28 2013 15:18:33

@MoreUtterPiffle God Save The Queen really should end on a wap-waah trombone note, shouldn't it?

— Mark Jones · Thu, Feb 28 2013 15:19:13

@brokentv It always does in our house (if by that you mean someone farts in surprise at hearing it in the house, that is).

— Karen Wiltshire · Thu, Feb 28 2013 15:24:00

The Manchester Coroner doesn't really know how Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet ends...

Storified by Chris McCray · Wed, Feb 27 2013 18:10:21

Today I read a news story where two people committed suicide. Sad. However the police statement read "It was just like Romeo & Juliet".

— Taylor, The Creator · Wed, Feb 27 2013 15:05:04

'Romeo and Juliet' suicide tragedy of love-split couple who hanged themselves from same Wythenshawe tree weeks apart

Grief-stricken mum-of-three leaves poignant note reading 'Together forever' as she copies boyfriend's suicide

I have several problems with this (here we go).

— Taylor, The Creator · Wed, Feb 27 2013 15:05:20

1. Way to glamourise suicide you wangdocter.

— Taylor, The Creator · Wed, Feb 27 2013 15:05:42

2. It wasn't like R&J - The guy hung himself because she dumped him, then she hung herself because she felt guilty.

— Taylor, The Creator · Wed, Feb 27 2013 15:06:17

2 (cont.). Neither of them were revived and then re-killed themsselves. Neither had disapproving families. they just did it. End of.

— Taylor, The Creator · Wed, Feb 27 2013 15:07:37

If even our police superintendents are this lazy about classic English literature, how is this country supposed to ever revive itself?

— Taylor, The Creator · Wed, Feb 27 2013 15:08:19

@Shinybiscuit Probably wouldn't have been any more accurate if he'd compared it to Pyramus and Thisbē then? I'd have been more impressed

— Tom · Wed, Feb 27 2013 15:12:41

@tom_marzipan me too, plus I haven't read that so I could agree even if it was wrong.

— Taylor, The Creator · Wed, Feb 27 2013 15:14:23

@Shinybiscuit Had an awesome book of myths and legends when I was little, but I don't remember it very well. Very similar to R&J, I think

— Tom · Wed, Feb 27 2013 15:17:45

@tom_marzipan I love all that, sounds like it was ace :)

— Taylor, The Creator · Wed, Feb 27 2013 15:19:10

@Shinybiscuit Apparently there's a version in Metamorphoses. This falls under the heading of 'things I wish I knew' http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pyramus_and_Thisbe

— Tom · Wed, Feb 27 2013 15:22:22

Pyramus and Thisbe - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The story of Pyramus and Thisbe appears in Giovanni Boccaccio's On Famous Women as biography number twelve (sometimes thirteen) and in hi...

@Shinybiscuit totally agree (with your problems, not the article)

— toaster thief · Wed, Feb 27 2013 15:07:09

@talkingtocactus It's just stupid, isn't it? And completely incorrect.

— Taylor, The Creator · Wed, Feb 27 2013 15:09:26

@Shinybiscuit completely. that R&J analogy is so overused anyway and is so rarely even remotely accurate/appropriate

— toaster thief · Wed, Feb 27 2013 15:30:34

I do hope you can see past the spelling errors I just made, I have my reasons (frozen hands, laziness, tiredness, apathy)

— Taylor, The Creator · Wed, Feb 27 2013 15:10:20

Tweets and conversations I've had in the past few days (24-26 Feb 2013 and updated through to 03 Mar 2013) on Twitter about Dignity At Work policies.

Storified by Chris McCray · Sun, Mar 03 2013 20:26:15

Lib Dems: allegations of sexual impropriety - Channel 4 News

Embarrassment Bridget Harris, who until just a few months ago worked as a special adviser to Nick Clegg, told us Lord Rennard behaved in ...

Lord Rennard allegations are 'shocking' - video - Channel 4 News

Cathy Newman interviews Tim Farron, president of the Liberal Democrat party, over what the party is doing to investigate allegations of s...

Blogged: why don't more women speak out about sexual harassment? http://www.newstatesman.com/2013/02/why-dont-women-speak-out-about-sexual-harassment-heres-why (inspired by @NickCohen4)

— Helen Lewis · Mon, Feb 25 2013 08:48:16

Why don't women speak out about sexual harassment? Here's why

Whistleblowers are often incredibly badly treated - even when they have sheaves of documents to prove wrongdoing. Imagine being a whistle...

@helenlewis "fear of libel suit" should be added to that list.

— Captain Tracy King · Mon, Feb 25 2013 09:25:42

@tkingdoll Ha, yes. Hadn't even thought of that.

— Helen Lewis · Mon, Feb 25 2013 09:50:41

BREAKING Sky sources: Nick Clegg knew of concerns about Lord Rennard. He’ll make a statement later this evening.

— Amber Elliott · Sun, Feb 24 2013 09:00:52

That Nick Clegg / Lord Rennard statement had better be "I resign" or "We're implementing a Dignity at Work policy" http://hansard.millbanksystems.com/lords/1996/dec/04/dignity-at-work-bill-hl

— Chris McCray · Sun, Feb 24 2013 09:19:40

Clegg needs to get a lot better at crisis PR. General advice from PRs who do good job is to come up with all the details straight away.

— Isabel Hardman · Sun, Feb 24 2013 09:17:07

This Clegg/Rennard thing is actually an opportunity. Put #DignityAtWork on the table, draft an act (the 1996 one is a good place to start).

— Chris McCray · Sun, Feb 24 2013 09:21:50

I used to work for part of Littlewoods when they introduced #DignityAtWork in the mid-1990s. First case through where I was based was a >

— Chris McCray · Sun, Feb 24 2013 09:22:26

groping manager - much in the same way as Lord Rennard. One woman stuck her head above the parapet and made a #DignityAtWork claim. Then >

— Chris McCray · Sun, Feb 24 2013 09:23:10

another, and another, all against the same man. 10 or so, in a groping campaign over 20 years. #DignityAtWork allowed them to come forward.

— Chris McCray · Sun, Feb 24 2013 09:24:33

Like I say, Clegg actually has an opportunity on his hands here - if he has the nous to spot it. #DignityAtWork

— Chris McCray · Sun, Feb 24 2013 09:25:01

Oh good grief... this tale passed through my timeline. It's not for the faint-hearted.

Storified by Chris McCray · Sun, Feb 24 2013 17:29:46

now it is certain I have missed my next train, one I'm on is finally moving at tremendous speed to ensure I have an hour standing at Euston.

— Robin Ince · Sun, Feb 24 2013 15:45:29

@robinince let me tell you a story about Trevor Stuart the man who ate his brains. He was on a bill of dangerous comedy at the Festival Hall

— Mark Thomas · Sun, Feb 24 2013 15:47:17

@markthomasinfo hurray, I need a story as I have many hours of lonely journey

— Robin Ince · Sun, Feb 24 2013 15:48:26

@robinince the timings were very tight- ppl doubling up and doing other gigs. Trevor was terrible at time keeping and everyone told him off

— Mark Thomas · Sun, Feb 24 2013 15:48:48

@robinince for overrunning. His act back then was walking onstage on a straight jacket with a swimming hat an googles and a skateboard with

— Mark Thomas · Sun, Feb 24 2013 15:49:53

@robinince a large ghetto blaster taped onto it. The skateboard was attached to the securely bound Trevor by a ribbon via his penis. Naked

— Mark Thomas · Sun, Feb 24 2013 15:51:05

@robinince from the waist down, arms securely tied behind him Trevot drags the skateboard and blaster onstage. Everyone backstage starts to

— Mark Thomas · Sun, Feb 24 2013 15:52:01

@robinince grumble that Trevor will over run. Trevor pull the board with his penis in an arc across the stage and misjudged the distance.

— Mark Thomas · Sun, Feb 24 2013 15:52:55

@robinince the board shoots off the end of the raked stage violently with Trevor screaming and blood emerging from his penis. Backstage

— Mark Thomas · Sun, Feb 24 2013 15:54:06

@robinince no one moves , the audience think it is part of the act and Trevor hauls the skateboard back onstage with his bleeding cock,

— Mark Thomas · Sun, Feb 24 2013 15:55:00

@robinince to applause. That my darlings is SHOWBIZ!

— Mark Thomas · Sun, Feb 24 2013 15:55:21

@markthomasinfo many say the problem with the modern circuit is the lack of penis jeopardy

— Robin Ince · Sun, Feb 24 2013 15:57:26

@robinince I agree Puppetry of the Penis are but louche cads compared to the danger tactics of Trevor's bloody cock.

— Mark Thomas · Sun, Feb 24 2013 15:59:15

...to be hosted by Robert Webb on BBC Three at some point in the not too distant future - working title: "On Set, Off Script..."

Storified by Chris McCray · Wed, Jan 02 2013 17:06:22

It is time to retell the Jim Davidson story?

— Louis Barfe · Wed, Jan 02 2013 15:40:48

If we're very lucky @LFBarfe is going to retell the Jim Davidson story. Follow him. It's well worth it.

— loveandgarbage · Wed, Jan 02 2013 15:42:15

Are you sitting comfortably? Then we'll begin. In the 1980s, Jim Davidson starred in his own sitcom, Up the Elephant & Round the Castle>

— Louis Barfe · Wed, Jan 02 2013 15:45:16

Now, it just so happened that many of the people who worked on the show had developed a dislike for the star. A plan was hatched.>

— Louis Barfe · Wed, Jan 02 2013 15:47:27

During a meal break, the crew had a whip-round. They approached the actor playing the minor character with the booty and told him>

— Louis Barfe · Wed, Jan 02 2013 15:48:07

"If you, accidentally on purpose, fail to pull the punch and connect with Davidson, the kitty is yours." The impecunious young thesp agreed>

— Louis Barfe · Wed, Jan 02 2013 15:49:08

A take was set up. Cameras were rolling. The young actor lamped Davidson. Jim was not happy. In fact, he was properly pissed off.>

— Louis Barfe · Wed, Jan 02 2013 15:50:53

Davidson, a top showbusiness Freemason, informed the actor that he would see to it that he never worked again.>

— Louis Barfe · Wed, Jan 02 2013 15:52:03

Jim was as good as his word. With connections like his, the young actor's career was over. Nobody's ever heard of David Thewlis.

— Louis Barfe · Wed, Jan 02 2013 15:53:09

Ay theng yew all.

— Louis Barfe · Wed, Jan 02 2013 15:55:44

I once asked a respected LE producer about working with Jim Davidson. He said he spoke ill of nobody, so would prefer to say nothing.

— Louis Barfe · Wed, Jan 02 2013 15:57:29

@LFBarfe I've another one. New Year's night for the millennium he'd arranged for cast & crew of his panto to dine at a restaurant

— Alex Bell · Wed, Jan 02 2013 15:48:32

@LFBarfe with him supposedly footing the bill. Party gets there to find previous lot running slightly late. JD throws hissy fit

— Alex Bell · Wed, Jan 02 2013 15:49:30

@LFBarfe with him supposedly footing the bill. Party gets there to find previous lot running slightly late. JD throws hissy fit

— Alex Bell · Wed, Jan 02 2013 15:49:30

@LFBarfe & pulls the plug on entire night, leaving everyone with nowhere to go at 10pm on millennium night #classact

— Alex Bell · Wed, Jan 02 2013 15:50:44

@AntAntonovich @scolvey Davidson was seeing a production assistant. Told the whole Big Break studio he'd 'potted her brown'.

— Louis Barfe · Wed, Jan 02 2013 16:04:17

@AntAntonovich @scolvey She fled the production gallery in tears. Everyone turned against him for that.

— Louis Barfe · Wed, Jan 02 2013 16:04:49

You want another tale of showbiz shitheelery?

— Louis Barfe · Wed, Jan 02 2013 16:05:49

Everybody knows the story about Charlie Drake and the bookcase, right?

— Louis Barfe · Wed, Jan 02 2013 16:06:22

Storified by Chris McCray · Thu, Oct 11 2012 06:19:57

lolwut? Investigation into the Beeb's "liberal bias". LIBERAL, WTF?! http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2012/oct/10/bbc-review-liberal-bias

— Another Angry Woman · Thu, Oct 11 2012 03:21:11

@stavvers oh man, this makes me so angry. The only bias the BBC has is that it sucks off the monarchy on a daily basis.

— Nadia Kamil · Thu, Oct 11 2012 03:22:26

Lord Patten is a bellend of the ding-dongiest sort.

— Nadia Kamil · Thu, Oct 11 2012 03:22:59

He looks like a spitting image puppet of a Tory lord & he joked (to a group of BBC employees) that the labour conf was the same as the BBC.

— Nadia Kamil · Thu, Oct 11 2012 03:25:28

This was last Friday. How is it appropriate a Tory lord in charge of the BBC trust jocularly tells BBC employees they are the Labour Party?

— Nadia Kamil · Thu, Oct 11 2012 03:27:15

I am probably not allowed to say all that but I was there & I was amazed at his attitude.

— Nadia Kamil · Thu, Oct 11 2012 03:31:24

@NadiaKamil BBC has different governance than other TV. There's previous for employees holding executive to account: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/newsnight/7499768.stm

— Chris McCray · Thu, Oct 11 2012 04:19:37

@cjjmccray I think its outrageous that he has begun an inquiry into 'liberal bias' of the BBC when he has been joking about it (projecting)

— Nadia Kamil · Thu, Oct 11 2012 04:23:20

All tweets grabbed from the feed for account: @A_MitchellMP at 2345h (UK BST) on Sunday 23rd September 2012.

Storified by Chris McCray · Sun, Sep 23 2012 16:42:49

I would like to apologise for any offence caused.Despite today's reports, I'm quite a nice guy! #dontbelieveeverythingyouread

— Andrew Mitchell · Fri, Sep 21 2012 16:39:31

'he doesn't speak to us any more, but sends us letters on parliamentary headed notepaper'. Andrew Mitchell's neighbours http://bit.ly/Q34PVq

— Gaby Hinsliff · Fri, Sep 21 2012 15:27:36

@gabyhinsliff I really must protest. that is so categorically untrue! Where do you get this nonsense?

— Andrew Mitchell · Fri, Sep 21 2012 16:43:29

Did anyone manage to get any photos of the glorious meteor shower? #missedit:-(

— Andrew Mitchell · Fri, Sep 21 2012 16:47:00

I mean, it's not as if I put a kitten in a dustbin LOL! Joke.

— Andrew Mitchell · Fri, Sep 21 2012 16:52:42

I'm really quite annoyed that I didn't get to see the wonderful meteor shower. Anybody have any photos of it they wish to share?

— Andrew Mitchell · Fri, Sep 21 2012 16:54:12

There has been quite a bit of understandable confusion about the word 'pleb'.From what I understood (thanks to a linguistic friend) it means

— Andrew Mitchell · Fri, Sep 21 2012 16:58:34

Policeman Living (in) England Permanently. I can see how it might appear offensive,but that was not at all my intention. I'm a linguist.

— Andrew Mitchell · Fri, Sep 21 2012 16:59:44

@jbrownridge What I am alleged to have said was 'plep'. I think I was misheard 9through no fault of the officer who misunderstood me)

— Andrew Mitchell · Fri, Sep 21 2012 17:01:31

So, as you can see, the difference between 'plep' and 'pleb' can be easily misheard. I meant no offence.

— Andrew Mitchell · Fri, Sep 21 2012 17:02:26

@rhodri Haha. No Rhodri, It was my intention to watch the 'Homeland' boxed-set,but I felt I ought to set the record straight.Enjoy your QVC!

— Andrew Mitchell · Fri, Sep 21 2012 17:04:04

@ChrisBethell Not at all! Seriously,all this fuss is entirely the fault of a misunderstanding.Of course we should mostly believe the police.

— Andrew Mitchell · Fri, Sep 21 2012 17:07:44

@ChrisBethell I have no one here but myself. This whole thing has been blown out of proportion really.

— Andrew Mitchell · Fri, Sep 21 2012 17:10:31

@K_CJohnson @ChrisBethell That language sounds suspiciously close to a threat. I'd be careful if I were you, no?

— Andrew Mitchell · Fri, Sep 21 2012 17:15:49

@ChrisBethell Of course! But we cannot automatically trust the word of the police either, can we? I'd cite South Yorkshire for example...

— Andrew Mitchell · Fri, Sep 21 2012 17:17:15

@PleasanceElite *believe, *fascist , * disrespectful, *make

— Andrew Mitchell · Fri, Sep 21 2012 17:18:49

@PleasanceElite No thank you. I already have all the Beatles albums. The mono remastered re-releases are fantastic, aren't they?

— Andrew Mitchell · Fri, Sep 21 2012 17:20:46

@ChrisBethell I would also say it's a bit of a leap to believe every piece of scrap that's fed to the Sun and other newspapers. No?

— Andrew Mitchell · Fri, Sep 21 2012 17:24:03

I know that it's the way with things,but I'm getting an awful lot of silly abuse from these fools on Twitter. Get a bloody life!

— Andrew Mitchell · Fri, Sep 21 2012 17:28:06

@K_CJohnson Remind me,Keith Johnson,Husband, Dad, Son, Island Dweller,Roman Catholic,Sports Fan...what the hell do you do?

— Andrew Mitchell · Fri, Sep 21 2012 17:29:29

Storified by Chris McCray · Sun, Aug 05 2012 19:45:33

London Olympics great lift to UK. Low defeatist morale gone for now. Can it last? Entire organization shows what can be done.

— Rupert Murdoch · Sun, Aug 05 2012 06:41:35

@rupertmurdoch Isn't the BBC's coverage of the Olympics marvellous? Worth every penny of the licence fee. A great British institution.

— Andrew Jones · Sun, Aug 05 2012 07:36:38

@awjones42 Agree. Coverage in UK terrific. Wish we could say same in US.

— Rupert Murdoch · Sun, Aug 05 2012 11:34:32

James Murdoch hits out at BBC and regulators at Edinburgh TV festival

James Murdoch tonight launched a scathing attack on the BBC, describing the corporation's size and ambitions as "chilling" and accusing i...

BBC to broadcast Olympics to 2020

Last updated at 10:15 GMT The BBC has secured the television, radio and digital broadcasting rights for the next four Olympic Games. In a...

Edinburgh TV Festival: James Murdoch's MacTaggart Lecture in full

The full MacTaggart lecture delivered by James Murdoch at the 2009 MediaGuardian Edinburgh International Television Festival

Storified by Chris McCray · Sat, Aug 04 2012 17:06:42

Feeling the tug of Mars: Fewer than 34 hours to go, Mars' gravity is pulling me in for a suspenseful landing http://1.usa.gov/OHYcEs

— Curiosity Rover · Sat, Aug 04 2012 12:35:13

NASA Jet Propulsion Laboratory

Mars Tugging on Approaching NASA Rover Curiosity August 04, 2012 PASADENA, Calif. - The gravitational tug of Mars is now pulling NASA's c...

Call me, maybe? All the ways I could phone home after landing on Mars [video] http://bit.ly/Pve8rV

— Curiosity Rover · Sat, Aug 04 2012 12:59:36

When I land on Mars, it'll be 5:31 UTC Aug. 6. See this handy chart for conversion to your time zone: http://bit.ly/N5W2ke

— Curiosity Rover · Sat, Aug 04 2012 13:22:39

Event Time Announcer

This World Clock shows what time will be in cities all over the world at a given time in past or future

Mars on my mind...Thinking of forging a wormhole through the Twitterverse and having a conversation with the Rover en route.

— Neil deGrasse Tyson · Sat, Aug 04 2012 14:19:37

The day we stop exploring is the day we commit ourselves to live in a stagnant world, devoid of curiosity, empty of dreams.

— Neil deGrasse Tyson · Sat, Aug 04 2012 15:10:04

Dear @MarsCuriosity, Neil deGrasse Tyson here on Earth, tweeting you, via a wormhole, through deep space. Do you copy?

— Neil deGrasse Tyson · Sat, Aug 04 2012 15:11:00

<wormhole actived!> Dear @neiltyson I read you loud and clear. 5x5

— Curiosity Rover · Sat, Aug 04 2012 15:12:42

Dear @MarsCuriosity, How does it feel out there as you near planet Mars?  Are you Cold? Hot? Or just right?

— Neil deGrasse Tyson · Sat, Aug 04 2012 15:13:10

Dear @neiltyson, I'm snug as a bug in a backshell. My MMRTG gives power & heat. So much so, I use radiators to keep temps just right

— Curiosity Rover · Sat, Aug 04 2012 15:15:39

Dear @MarsCuriosity, What exactly is giving power to your Radioisotope Thermoelectric Generator?

— Neil deGrasse Tyson · Sat, Aug 04 2012 15:17:23

Dear @neiltyson, MMRTG is powered by plutonium-238. I use thermocouples to convert heat from its natural decay to electric current

— Curiosity Rover · Sat, Aug 04 2012 15:20:56

Dear @MarsCuriosity, just as I suspected. An element named after Pluto. Discovered when everyone thought the little iceball was a planet.

— Neil deGrasse Tyson · Sat, Aug 04 2012 15:21:11

Dear @neiltyson, for being millions of miles away it's faster than say... some TV broadcasts from London to Los Angeles ;-)

— Curiosity Rover · Sat, Aug 04 2012 15:26:14

Dear @MarsCuriosity, What's the size of your landing spot on Mars? Is it small? It's a whole planet, I'd be happy just to land anywhere.

— Neil deGrasse Tyson · Sat, Aug 04 2012 15:26:28

Dear @neiltyson, target area is 12 miles x 4 miles, right next door to some of Mars' most intriguing rocks & soil

— Curiosity Rover · Sat, Aug 04 2012 15:30:47

Dear @MarsCuriosity, You call EDL 7-minutes of terror. Sure, to you. But to us on Earth, it's 7 minutes + 15 minutes signal time.

— Neil deGrasse Tyson · Sat, Aug 04 2012 15:26:47