Cosmo Beauty Tips - Joke Spammed!
Cosmo is an awful thing in general, but its beauty/seduction tips are invariably stupid. This is the first time I joke-spammed a concept instead of a human being and several fine people joined in! They are also represented here for the first time!
@themaybepile "Men love hot women, so be the hottest you can be for your man by dousing yourself in kerosene and setting yourself alight!"- Go out clad in mighty armour, atop a steed ahead of a Mongol Horde - men will assume you're a Great Khan! #cosmobeautytips
- If you have unsightly blemishes, carve them out of yourself with a big knife - men love decisive women! #cosmobeautytips
- Breasts too small? Replace your eyes with onions and no one will notice! #cosmobeautytips
- Too many split ends in your hair? Burn it off for that Autumnal, bonfire style! #cosmobeautytips
- Forgot to shave your legs before a date? Pretend you are on the UN Security Council! He'll assume it's a diplomatic thing! #cosmobeautytips
BANISH CELLULITE by signing an extradition treaty with Celluliteland. #cosmobeautytips- Let men know you are into sports too by dressing in sports kit before bed! The muddier the better! #cosmobeautytips
- GET THAT AUTUMN LOOK through the liberal application of leeches. #cosmobeautytips
Play hard to get. Change you phone number, address and identity. #cosmobeautytips- Seize the initiative in the War on Frizz by opening up a risky Eastern front against Blemishes. #cosmobeautytips
- GET THE LONDON LOOK by maintaining an extensive railway network. #cosmobeautytips
- Unhappy with your teeth? Smash them out with a hammer! Use their shards to make a trendy necklace! #cosmobeautytips
- Want to impress a man? Eat a whole dog in front of him - men like a woman with appetite! #cosmobeautytips
- Show your sensitive side by learning the mournful song of the humpback whale. #cosmobeautytips
- Vajazzles are so last year. Cover your whole body in scalding glue and stand in front of a glitter cannon. #cosmobeautytips
