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by
Fri, Jun 03 2011 12:33:29

My Vasectomy

I tweeted before and after my big snip.

  1. It all started by making a joke to my friends on the morning of the procedure, right when I woke up...
  2. mathowie
    I'm off to get my man tubes tied. If you needed a copy of my genetics to create a future race of super humans, you missed your chance.
    mathowie
    Mon, May 02 2011 09:56:22
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  3. This joke in response was so good I had to include it...
  4. joshmillard
    @mathowie According to Emily Post, one should never discuss one's vasectomy publicly. It is unsemenly.
    joshmillard
    Mon, May 02 2011 10:01:15
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  5. A few hours later I noticed my joke went over well and had a ton of favorites and responses so I was bored in the waiting room and decided what the heck, I might as well tweet the procedure...
  6. mathowie
    "Are you live tweeting your vasectomy?" -- no one, ever. Sadly, the answer is going to be "yes"
    mathowie
    Mon, May 02 2011 12:09:32
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  7. mathowie
    Frozen pea packs: acquired. No, Michael Pollan, I did not buy organic, local peas. God you're such an ass sometimes. #snipandtuck
    mathowie
    Mon, May 02 2011 12:20:05
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  8. mathowie
    Checked in at the hospital. Counting the minutes until they give me enough Valium to forget what is about to go down. #snipandtuck
    mathowie
    Mon, May 02 2011 13:38:29
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  9. mathowie
    Anti-anxiety meds did almost nothing for my highest blood pressure ever recorded. #snipandtuck
    mathowie
    Mon, May 02 2011 14:45:39
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  10. A few weeks before I asked my twitter followers how badly the pain was from "the shot" which is a big needle full of numbing agent going directly into your scrotum. The answers on a 1-10 scale of pain were an average of about 5, so not horrible, but not too pleasant.
  11. mathowie
    The Shot wasn't too bad but was like a bee sting in the worst place imaginable. #snipandtuck
    mathowie
    Mon, May 02 2011 14:46:37
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  12. I couldn't really tweet during the actual event, which was all of about 30min long away from my phone, but it was pretty painless.


    Osama Bin-Laden was killed the night before, so that oddly came up when talking to the doctor during the procedure...

  13. mathowie
    Operation was only 20min. We chatted and joked and of course had to talk about OBL. Wasn't as weird as that sounds. #snipandtuck
    mathowie
    Mon, May 02 2011 14:47:57
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  14. mathowie
    And it's over! Off to be driven home. #snipandtuck
    mathowie
    Mon, May 02 2011 14:48:26
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  15. mathowie
    Meds hitting 20min after we're done. Limbs heavy. Talking is slow and low. #snipandtuck
    mathowie
    Mon, May 02 2011 15:02:42
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  16. mathowie
    Walking feels like the air has been replaced with Nerf. I've bumped into several doctors on the way out. #snipandtuck
    mathowie
    Mon, May 02 2011 15:21:18
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  17. I got in the car and was driven home at this point
  18. mathowie
    Picking up vicodidin. Slowing down more from early morning meds. Bumps on the road feel like small kicks to the abdomen #snipandtuck
    mathowie
    Mon, May 02 2011 16:29:34
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  19. mathowie
    Kind of wondering what happens if I don't ice with frozen peas. How bib can they possibly swell to?! #snipandtuck
    mathowie
    Mon, May 02 2011 16:39:22
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  20. mathowie
    Ahhhh I'm horizontal now at home, ready to nap then attack the hundreds of Gb on movies and shown waiting to watch. #snipandtuck
    mathowie
    Mon, May 02 2011 17:00:07
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  21. Now I wonder if the following typos are due to taking a narcotic pain pill...

  22. mathowie
    First vicodidin in fly life report: slept 3.5 hours almost instantly. Now my head feels twice its weight when walking, like I will tip over.
    mathowie
    Mon, May 02 2011 20:41:50
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  23. mathowie
    12hrs after the event, and about to head off to sleep, I'd say overall the big V is no big deal. No pain so far. We'll see about tomorrow.
    mathowie
    Tue, May 03 2011 00:04:48
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  24. mathowie
    I spent the last three months reading vasectomy horror stories and I feel like 24hrs ago I got the easiest one done ever. No post-op pain!
    mathowie
    Tue, May 03 2011 11:13:57
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  25. I read horror stories on the internet for three months leading up to this, all talking about weeks and weeks of pain that followed a difficult recovery. I never really had any pain after day one. I was riding my bike a few days later and everything worked downstairs within days.

    I might have been lucky enough to receive the least invasive and least painful vasectomy of all time, but I just didn't see any happy no-pain stories when I was researching the procedure on the web, but it happened to me: no real pain and minimal impact on my life. 

    So go forth dudes and get it done.

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