Please don’t think i’m accusing you of fabricating this story but it concerns me greatly that this isn’t the first time you have blogged about being sexual assaulted and named the men involved. Why do you think it is ok for you to do this?

I don’t know who Florian Leibert is but without any proof of what happened you have essentially libeled him by making a (technically) baseless allegation of sexual assault.

Thanks to all for your support.

Jo, thanks for pointing out the legal concern. I certainly didn’t post without thinking about it, but I think speaking out is important enough that I’m willing to take that risk – along with the risks of slut-shaming and other backlash.

@Jo:
If someone assaulted me in a punch-up behind the pub, you bet your arse I’d name them on my blog if I recognized who they were. How is this any different?

Noirin, there aren’t any words. Thank you for being so courageous and awesome in general.

This is a sensitive subject, and quite possibly you are the victim of a crime, however it is impossible to ignore that a further sin in many ways as bad as the original has been committed here, and that is to deny fair trial, which is very much what you have done here (just check some of the results for a Twitter search on @flo right now).

I can only hope you are beyond all doubt the situation described above could not have been perceived any differently, particularly when after using language such as “told him I wasn’t interested (I may have been less eloquent, but I don’t think I was less clear”.

Not cool (either way).

I’m really worried about how quick people are to believe an allegation after hearing only one side of the story.

Anyone with a bit of life experience knows that things always look very different after hearing the other side. You say there was a lot of drinking and that you were flirting with a number of guys.

Not to blame you, but that there is a recipe for disaster. People ALWAYS tell stories to make themselves come off as the victim or innocent. By leaving things out or exaggerating others. The truth is usually not so black and white.

I have no clue what happened, but wouldn’t be so quick to take sides.

The guy who touched you is a jerk and an embarassment to the male sex.

However, I have no sympathy for you. You dress provocatively and expect men to leave you alone. When a woman does that, it’s exactly analogous to a man using his physical strength to overpower a woman. This is because just as women usually have no defense against a stronger male, men have no or little defense against their hormones when they see certain parts of the female body exposed in front of them. Dressing as you did is unfair; it puts undue burden on the men around you by taking advantage of their weak point. You’re foolish and naive for expecting to escape the evening without incident.

Posting names on the internet when this is an allegation is terrible. You should raise it with the correct authorities first and if he’s found guilty then by all means paste his name around.

..also I think you might look/act like a slut.

Sorry you had a bad evening but hell, who do you think hangs out late at night in bars – church goers?

Grow up and learn from this and apparently your other experiences.

And bad form on naming names unless you intend to press charges.

Here via a friend who works at BARCC.

I wish I could say something to take away the people who don’t realize how many people this happens to, every damned year, who are told exactly to keep their mouths shut. That she indicated that she’s gone to the police on this matter should indicate some seriousness about the situation, moreso than trying to slag someone’s rep.

[...]

Given the pain of this crime on many levels, including what you folks are doing, I’m on her side. I know, again from experience, how people react to talking about these issues online, and it’s NEVER easy, never fun, never done as a lark or a joke. I hope more people commenting will think about this, and rework their actions to be better supporters, and less judgmental. Why? Because there are a lot more people dealing with these issues than you know, and they need your support, dammit, not your approbation and concern trolling. Your actions here do nothing to support those people — or her, initial displays of sympathy aside.

I am so sorry for what you’ve gone through. Ignore the cowards leaving the abusive comments. They’re just showing what kind of people are out there.

“The attitude inherent in your comment– your default assumption that it’s *not* okay to say what happened or name names– is EXACTLY THE REASON WHY it isn’t the first time it happened.”

That’s why a lot of assaults on women don’t get reported.

Good luck to you in amending your behavior so as to avoid such incidents going forward.

To those of you who feel it is proper to argue that she should have withheld Florian’s name, then I would very much encourage you read this deconstruction/argument around that: http://goo.gl/qvGD4

The short answer is that the various outcomes lean towards Noirin’s naming of Florian, as an attacker, as a proper outcome of the situation.

I was present for most of the night, my specific commentary and statements are on Quora: http://goo.gl/RinzC

The net result is that I’ll believe Noirin. Absolutely. I support her strength, courage, and willingness to face the bullshit to do the Right Thing.