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Higgs Boson: The best jokes on Twitter

Sicence bloggers and commentators add their quips on the news Cern scientists have discovered the subatomic particle

  1. When I was younger, I sold our cow for three Higgs-Bosons. Wish I'd kept them now.
  2. BREAKING: Scientists find the famed 'Bob Particle'-phenomenon that makes money faster than speed of light
  3. now that we've found #higgs boson, we can focus our search on where's waldo.
  4. A Higgs Boson walks into a bar and asks everyone to take part in an act of penitence. "What are you doing?" asks the barman. "Giving mass."
  5. A Higgs-Boson walks into a bar. The bartender says "You know, there were some guys in here looking for you." #higgsjokes
  6. Seen any better or got yours to tell? Tweet @guardian with the tag #higgsjokes
  7. @guardian 04/07/12 Sun frontpage... "We haven't God a clue" Page 3... News in Briefs History of Time #Higgsjokes
  8. Better double check. I thought I discovered a Higgs boson under my couch last year but turned out to be an old marble @guardian #Higgsjokes
  9. @guardian #Higgsjokes Work ceased on the Atlas experiment until the paint has been removed. Some idiot tried to make a Hadron Kaleidoscope!
  10. @guardian #higgsjokes RT @davorg: If we can control the Higgs field then we can really build Weapons of Mass Destruction.
  11. @guardian #Higgsjokes Your Standard Model uses rates of decay but your Diamond Model uses whatever rates it bloody well feels like.
  12. Now that the Higgs Boson existence has been confirmed perhaps CMS could turn their attention to finding Summer? @guardian #Higgsjoke
  13. Found a small particle that goes by the name #higgs boson . Bugger is responsible for my Weight (mass for purists) #higgsjokes @guardian
  14. Here are some of our readers' jokes in comments:

    upnorth7

    I'm going for some boson treatment today, they said my bosons field was out of balance. Some meditative humming and a bath in strong coloured light has been prescribed. That should realign my bosons

    ThePaladin

    A top quark and a Higgs had a public break up on the weekend. The quark stormed off, complaining that the Higgs kept telling it how heavy it was and had nothing else to say.


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