Storify by Rhiannon Coppin

The Restaurant of Broken Dreams

A study in marriage disintegration, with anthropological data collected in the field by Andy M. Boyle on Nov. 7, 2011. Location: A restaurant.

Andy Boyle @andymboyle
I am listening to a marriage disintegrate at a table next to me in this restaurant. Aaron Sorkin couldn't write this any better.
Mon, Nov 07 2011 16:16:48
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Andy Boyle @andymboyle
These kids must be 21, tops. His main complaint? She doesn't clean the dishes when his mom asks her to.
Mon, Nov 07 2011 16:22:29
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Andy Boyle @andymboyle
She is sobbing quite loud. He gets up and walks out. She stays. We all feel quite awkward. Do we console her? No one does anything.
Mon, Nov 07 2011 16:30:11
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Andy Boyle @andymboyle
He is back. She is telling him she didn't cheat. He doesn't believe her. He says he loves her anyway. He sits. We are more calm.
Mon, Nov 07 2011 16:31:09
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Andy Boyle @andymboyle
Another unrelated couple, who has been giving me the "can you believe this?" look, is hugging each other in response to this drama.
Mon, Nov 07 2011 16:32:49
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Andy Boyle @andymboyle
"Baby," he says. "I only say these things because I want you to be a better wife." The restaurant does not believe him.
Mon, Nov 07 2011 16:34:54
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Andy Boyle @andymboyle
She thinks it is unfair that he gets to play video games and she has to clean when "his mother" tells her. We agree.
Mon, Nov 07 2011 16:35:58
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Andy Boyle @andymboyle
"If you loved me," he says, "you would want me to be happy." We notice his argument is not swaying her.
Mon, Nov 07 2011 16:36:56
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Andy Boyle @andymboyle
"I don't want to hear it!" she shouts. The tables are turned: She is now accusing him of lying, of what we do not know.
Mon, Nov 07 2011 16:38:03
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Andy Boyle @andymboyle
"Why did you even marry me?" he asks. "Because I loved you," she responds. "Loved me?" We all notice the past tense.
Mon, Nov 07 2011 16:40:15
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Andy Boyle @andymboyle
The couple. instagr.am/p/TNI24/
Mon, Nov 07 2011 16:41:20
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Andy Boyle @andymboyle
Apparently they both think the other cheated because of missed phone calls on occasion. It must be noted he has a speech impediment.
Mon, Nov 07 2011 16:42:18
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Andy Boyle @andymboyle
"A big lie and a small lie are the same thing," he says. "And I told you not to lie!"
Mon, Nov 07 2011 16:44:30
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Andy Boyle @andymboyle
I have no clue if you can hear this, but here's a snippet: yfrog.com/mtdn3z
Mon, Nov 07 2011 16:46:06
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Andy Boyle @andymboyle
"I am a gentleman," he says. She stands up at his audacity and states out the window. Someone's phone on speaker is blocking their chat.
Mon, Nov 07 2011 16:46:12
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Andy Boyle @andymboyle
"Go!" she says. "Run away like a scared little boy!" He continues sitting, eating his fries.
Mon, Nov 07 2011 16:47:17
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Andy Boyle @andymboyle
She has moved to another table, still facing him. instagr.am/p/TNL_X/
Mon, Nov 07 2011 16:48:34
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Andy Boyle @andymboyle
"Let's go outside," she says. "Why? Let's do this here. Everyone needs to know what kind of a wife you are."
Mon, Nov 07 2011 16:49:13
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Andy Boyle @andymboyle
He is now critiquing how she dressed at a party recently. "I like dressing like that," she says. "I get to decide how you dress," he says.
Mon, Nov 07 2011 16:50:33
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Andy Boyle @andymboyle
He is now swearing a lot, mentioning something about cutting his hand in the dishwasher (?) and that's why he shouldn't clean dishes.
Mon, Nov 07 2011 16:51:17
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Andy Boyle @andymboyle
"It was only one time!" he admits. "I only did one time, too!" she says. "That doesn't make us even."
Mon, Nov 07 2011 16:52:50
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Andy Boyle @andymboyle
"You want to bring up the slap? I'll bring up everything. It wasn't a punch. If it was, I would've left," he says.
Mon, Nov 07 2011 16:54:03
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Andy Boyle @andymboyle
Just so those are aware, he is not being physically imposing or threatening violence. I would call the cops if that was the case.
Mon, Nov 07 2011 16:55:11
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Andy Boyle @andymboyle
They are now speaking too quiet for me to hear as U2's "Beautiful Day" plays. Seriously. yfrog.com/bgi68z
Mon, Nov 07 2011 16:56:26
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Andy Boyle @andymboyle
"It's kind of weird having to talk to you about this here," she says. He laughs. She sort of laughs.
Mon, Nov 07 2011 16:57:23
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