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Wed, Nov 09 2011 13:13:27

The Restaurant of Broken Dreams

A study in marriage disintegration, with anthropological data collected in the field by Andy M. Boyle on Nov. 7, 2011. Location: A restaurant.

  1. andymboyle
    I am listening to a marriage disintegrate at a table next to me in this restaurant. Aaron Sorkin couldn't write this any better.
    Andy Boyle
    Mon, Nov 07 2011 19:16:48
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  2. andymboyle
    These kids must be 21, tops. His main complaint? She doesn't clean the dishes when his mom asks her to.
    Andy Boyle
    Mon, Nov 07 2011 19:22:29
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  3. andymboyle
    She is sobbing quite loud. He gets up and walks out. She stays. We all feel quite awkward. Do we console her? No one does anything.
    Andy Boyle
    Mon, Nov 07 2011 19:30:11
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  4. andymboyle
    He is back. She is telling him she didn't cheat. He doesn't believe her. He says he loves her anyway. He sits. We are more calm.
    Andy Boyle
    Mon, Nov 07 2011 19:31:09
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  5. andymboyle
    Another unrelated couple, who has been giving me the "can you believe this?" look, is hugging each other in response to this drama.
    Andy Boyle
    Mon, Nov 07 2011 19:32:49
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  6. andymboyle
    "Baby," he says. "I only say these things because I want you to be a better wife." The restaurant does not believe him.
    Andy Boyle
    Mon, Nov 07 2011 19:34:54
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  7. andymboyle
    She thinks it is unfair that he gets to play video games and she has to clean when "his mother" tells her. We agree.
    Andy Boyle
    Mon, Nov 07 2011 19:35:58
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  8. andymboyle
    "If you loved me," he says, "you would want me to be happy." We notice his argument is not swaying her.
    Andy Boyle
    Mon, Nov 07 2011 19:36:56
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  9. andymboyle
    "I don't want to hear it!" she shouts. The tables are turned: She is now accusing him of lying, of what we do not know.
    Andy Boyle
    Mon, Nov 07 2011 19:38:03
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  10. andymboyle
    "Why did you even marry me?" he asks. "Because I loved you," she responds. "Loved me?" We all notice the past tense.
    Andy Boyle
    Mon, Nov 07 2011 19:40:15
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  11. andymboyle
    The couple. http://t.co/RE1icmra
    Andy Boyle
    Mon, Nov 07 2011 19:41:20
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  12. andymboyle
    Apparently they both think the other cheated because of missed phone calls on occasion. It must be noted he has a speech impediment.
    Andy Boyle
    Mon, Nov 07 2011 19:42:18
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  13. andymboyle
    "A big lie and a small lie are the same thing," he says. "And I told you not to lie!"
    Andy Boyle
    Mon, Nov 07 2011 19:44:30
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  14. andymboyle
    I have no clue if you can hear this, but here's a snippet: http://t.co/EFDXL0e3
    Andy Boyle
    Mon, Nov 07 2011 19:46:06
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  15. andymboyle
    "I am a gentleman," he says. She stands up at his audacity and states out the window. Someone's phone on speaker is blocking their chat.
    Andy Boyle
    Mon, Nov 07 2011 19:46:12
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  16. andymboyle
    "Go!" she says. "Run away like a scared little boy!" He continues sitting, eating his fries.
    Andy Boyle
    Mon, Nov 07 2011 19:47:17
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  17. andymboyle
    She has moved to another table, still facing him. http://t.co/HtEjbZLf
    Andy Boyle
    Mon, Nov 07 2011 19:48:34
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  18. andymboyle
    "Let's go outside," she says. "Why? Let's do this here. Everyone needs to know what kind of a wife you are."
    Andy Boyle
    Mon, Nov 07 2011 19:49:13
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  19. andymboyle
    He is now critiquing how she dressed at a party recently. "I like dressing like that," she says. "I get to decide how you dress," he says.
    Andy Boyle
    Mon, Nov 07 2011 19:50:33
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  20. andymboyle
    He is now swearing a lot, mentioning something about cutting his hand in the dishwasher (?) and that's why he shouldn't clean dishes.
    Andy Boyle
    Mon, Nov 07 2011 19:51:17
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  21. andymboyle
    "It was only one time!" he admits. "I only did one time, too!" she says. "That doesn't make us even."
    Andy Boyle
    Mon, Nov 07 2011 19:52:50
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  22. andymboyle
    "You want to bring up the slap? I'll bring up everything. It wasn't a punch. If it was, I would've left," he says.
    Andy Boyle
    Mon, Nov 07 2011 19:54:03
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  23. andymboyle
    Just so those are aware, he is not being physically imposing or threatening violence. I would call the cops if that was the case.
    Andy Boyle
    Mon, Nov 07 2011 19:55:11
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  24. andymboyle
    They are now speaking too quiet for me to hear as U2's "Beautiful Day" plays. Seriously. http://t.co/tbCAhYpQ
    Andy Boyle
    Mon, Nov 07 2011 19:56:26
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  25. andymboyle
    "It's kind of weird having to talk to you about this here," she says. He laughs. She sort of laughs.
    Andy Boyle
    Mon, Nov 07 2011 19:57:23
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