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Published

The Restaurant of Broken Dreams

A study in marriage disintegration, with anthropological data collected in the field by Andy M. Boyle on Nov. 7, 2011. Location: A restaurant.

  1. andymboyle
    I am listening to a marriage disintegrate at a table next to me in this restaurant. Aaron Sorkin couldn't write this any better.
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  2. andymboyle
    These kids must be 21, tops. His main complaint? She doesn't clean the dishes when his mom asks her to.
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  3. andymboyle
    She is sobbing quite loud. He gets up and walks out. She stays. We all feel quite awkward. Do we console her? No one does anything.
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  4. andymboyle
    He is back. She is telling him she didn't cheat. He doesn't believe her. He says he loves her anyway. He sits. We are more calm.
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  5. andymboyle
    Another unrelated couple, who has been giving me the "can you believe this?" look, is hugging each other in response to this drama.
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  6. andymboyle
    "Baby," he says. "I only say these things because I want you to be a better wife." The restaurant does not believe him.
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  7. andymboyle
    She thinks it is unfair that he gets to play video games and she has to clean when "his mother" tells her. We agree.
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  8. andymboyle
    "If you loved me," he says, "you would want me to be happy." We notice his argument is not swaying her.
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  9. andymboyle
    "I don't want to hear it!" she shouts. The tables are turned: She is now accusing him of lying, of what we do not know.
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  10. andymboyle
    "Why did you even marry me?" he asks. "Because I loved you," she responds. "Loved me?" We all notice the past tense.
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  11. andymboyle
    Apparently they both think the other cheated because of missed phone calls on occasion. It must be noted he has a speech impediment.
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  14. andymboyle
    "I am a gentleman," he says. She stands up at his audacity and states out the window. Someone's phone on speaker is blocking their chat.
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  16. andymboyle
    "Let's go outside," she says. "Why? Let's do this here. Everyone needs to know what kind of a wife you are."
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  17. andymboyle
    He is now critiquing how she dressed at a party recently. "I like dressing like that," she says. "I get to decide how you dress," he says.
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  18. andymboyle
    He is now swearing a lot, mentioning something about cutting his hand in the dishwasher (?) and that's why he shouldn't clean dishes.
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  19. andymboyle
    "It was only one time!" he admits. "I only did one time, too!" she says. "That doesn't make us even."
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  20. andymboyle
    "You want to bring up the slap? I'll bring up everything. It wasn't a punch. If it was, I would've left," he says.
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  21. andymboyle
    Just so those are aware, he is not being physically imposing or threatening violence. I would call the cops if that was the case.
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  22. andymboyle
    They are now speaking too quiet for me to hear as U2's "Beautiful Day" plays. Seriously. http://t.co/tbCAhYpQ
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  23. andymboyle
    "It's kind of weird having to talk to you about this here," she says. He laughs. She sort of laughs.
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