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Mon, Jan 23 2012 11:56:43

Daniel Handler Helps You

Lemony Snicket, aka Daniel Handler, has taken over our Twitter to give love advice.

  1. HuffPostBooks
    HuffPost Books@HuffPostBooks
    Hello, strangers. This is Daniel Handler, aka Lemony Snicket, finally able to pursue my dream career: free advice.
    Mon, Jan 23 2012 08:05:02
  2. HuffPostBooks
    HuffPostBooks@
    Love is like promoting a book: every so often, after a long day, you think, what in the world am I doing with you?
    Mon, Jan 23 2012 08:10:52
  3. HuffPostBooks
    HuffPost Books@HuffPostBooks
    Q: "His friends say he likes me but he was burned by an ex. We have sleepovers, but he won't make a move. What gives?" #DHhelpsU
    Mon, Jan 23 2012 08:06:42
  4. HuffPostBooks
    HuffPost Books@HuffPostBooks
    A: Where did the ex burn him, exactly? This might be a medical condition.
    Mon, Jan 23 2012 08:06:47
  5. HuffPostBooks
    HuffPost Books@HuffPostBooks
    Q: "My boyfriend is Chaser on my intramural Quidditch team, and he's awful. Under what circumstances is it okay to murder him?" #DHhelpsU
    Mon, Jan 23 2012 08:08:11
  6. HuffPostBooks
    HuffPost Books@HuffPostBooks
    A: If you’re both in a fantasy novel. Join the real world; the villains are worse and the martinis are better.
    Mon, Jan 23 2012 08:08:18
  7. HuffPostBooks
    HuffPost Books@HuffPostBooks
    Q: "Help! I need some good Valentine's Day date ideas!" #DHhelpsU A: Stay in. Make gimlets. Watch Nosferatu. Repeat and fade.
    Mon, Jan 23 2012 08:08:42
  8. HuffPostBooks
    HuffPost Books@HuffPostBooks
    Q: "What is the best love song ever?" #DHhelpsU A: “Mean To Me," the Julie London version.
    Mon, Jan 23 2012 08:09:35
  9. HuffPostBooks
    HuffPost Books@HuffPostBooks
    Q: "I have a crush on a work superior who I probably am not allowed to go out with. What should I do?" #DHhelpsU
    Mon, Jan 23 2012 08:12:33
  10. HuffPostBooks
    HuffPost Books@HuffPostBooks
    A: Say to him, “Your Holiness, this is awkward, but...”
    Mon, Jan 23 2012 08:12:41
  11. HuffPostBooks
    HuffPost Books@HuffPostBooks
    Q: "How can you make sure my spouse puts the utensils in the dishwasher the *right* way?" #1stWorldProblems #DHhelpsU
    Mon, Jan 23 2012 08:13:05
  12. HuffPostBooks
    HuffPost Books@HuffPostBooks
    A: Unless “puts the utensils in the dashwasher” is a euphemism, you are beyond help.
    Mon, Jan 23 2012 08:13:15
  13. HuffPostBooks
    HuffPost Books@HuffPostBooks
    Q: "I'm so sick of being single! How can I find a date?" #DHhelpsU
    Mon, Jan 23 2012 08:15:18
  14. HuffPostBooks
    HuffPost Books@HuffPostBooks
    A: Desperation is like a spilled drink: even if it's delicious, no one will get near it. Cultivate an aura of glamorous unapproachability.
    Mon, Jan 23 2012 08:15:42
  15. HuffPostBooks
    HuffPost Books@HuffPostBooks
    Q: "I've never been in a relationship. What should I say when people are sharing their sorrows and I have none?" #DHhelpsU
    Mon, Jan 23 2012 08:16:58
  16. HuffPostBooks
    HuffPost Books@HuffPostBooks
    A: “This reminds me of what happened between Anna Karenina and Count Vronsky.”
    Mon, Jan 23 2012 08:17:04
  17. Elsewhere, Melissa Pickett comments...
  18. melissapickett
    Melissa Pickett@melissapickett
    Reading #DHHelpsU tweets. Daniel Handler could make a fairly decent advice-tweeter if this whole "writing" thing doesn't work out.
    Mon, Jan 23 2012 09:57:46
  19. Back to the advice.
  20. HuffPostBooks
    HuffPost Books@HuffPostBooks
    Q: "My husband eats so much, no matter how much I make, there are never any leftovers for lunch. Help!" #DHhelpsU
    Mon, Jan 23 2012 08:18:32
  21. HuffPostBooks
    HuffPost Books@HuffPostBooks
    A: “I’ll have the double hamachi roll, and two uni nigiri.”
    Mon, Jan 23 2012 08:18:39
  22. HuffPostBooks
    HuffPost Books@HuffPostBooks
    Q: "How do you stop loving someone? My feelings just last and last." #Makingroomforsomeonenew #DHhelpsU
    Mon, Jan 23 2012 08:24:34
  23. HuffPostBooks
    HuffPost Books@HuffPostBooks
    A: Every day the coffee’s bitter no matter how much sugar goes in...
    Mon, Jan 23 2012 08:25:02
  24. HuffPostBooks
    HuffPost Books@HuffPostBooks
    A: ...The shower is clammy and even the cheeriest music is a dirge...
    Mon, Jan 23 2012 08:25:14
  25. HuffPostBooks
    HuffPost Books@HuffPostBooks
    A:...Every coat’s itchy and too small, like they took part of your body with them...
    Mon, Jan 23 2012 08:25:29

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