BURGER KING

HOW BURGER KING CAN AVOID THE FAST TRACK TO FUCKING OBLIVION

  1. HEY @BURGERKING TIME WE HAD A FUCKING CHAT: WHOEVERS MANAGING YOUR ONCE PROUD AND PRESTIGIOUS COMPANY IS RUNNING IT INTO THE FUCKING GROUND
  2. .@BURGERKING IM PICTURING SOME IVY LEAGUE FUCKING FLEEB ALL RUNNING METRICS AND DEMOGRAPHICS AND SYNERGY AND FUCK ALL THAT
  3. .@BURGERKING ALL THIS HYPE OVER SOME NEW BIG SURPRISE. WELL IMAGINE MY FUCKING SURPRISE WHEN I SAW THAT BURGER KING TURNED BITCH
  4. .@BURGERKING LOOK AT YOUR FUCKING MENU: bit.ly/HmCCkx LOOKS LIKE SOME HALFASSED PANERA FUCKING STARBUCKS HOLLISTER FUCKING HORSESHIT
  5. .@BURGERKING YOU SEE ANYTHING ABOUT BURGERS IN THAT FUCKING MENU? ANSWER: FUCK NO. ITD BE LIKE IF PETSMART SOLD POOL SUPPLIES
  6. .@BURGERKING SO THATS THE BIG FUCKING SURPRISE? FANCYASS COFFEEHOUSE MILKSHAKES? WHAT THE FUCK I THOUGHT YOU WERE BRINGING BACK THE BIG KING
  7. .@BURGERKING INSTEAD OF PLOWING ALL YOUR CASH INTO SOME BULLSHIT ADVERTISING YOU SHOULD BE RENOVATING YOUR FUCKING RESTAURANTS
  8. .@BURGERKING LOSE THE FUCKING BLUE ROOFS. AND CHANGE YOUR CLEANING PRODUCTS SO THE FUCKING PLACE DOESNT SMELL LIKE A MENS ROOM
  9. .@BURGERKING AND MAYBE PUT SOME MORE MONEY INTO TRAINING. HIRE SOME PEOPLE I DONT FEEL THE FUCKING NEED TO AVERT MY GAZE FROM
  10. .@BURGERKING ALL THESE TOOTHLESS MOTHERFUCKERS AND DRIED UP OLD BAGS KILLING TIME TIL THE SOCIAL SECURITY KICKS IN. FUCK THAT HIRE HOTNESS
  11. .@BURGERKING STOP LEADING FROM BEHIND WITH THIS HIP NUTRITIONAL GOOD FOR YOU BULLSHIT. YOU DONT DO THAT YOURE THE MOTHERFUCKING KING
  12. .@BURGERKING QUIT PITCHING YOUR PRODUCT TO BITCHES. YOURE NEVER GONNA WIN OVER SOME CLUNKY GLASSES INDIE ROCK VEGAN ASSHOLE. FUCK THEM
  13. .@BURGERKING TELL THOSE LIMPDICKS AT CORPORATE THAT THIS IS AINT WHOLE FOODS MARKET THIS IS THE HOME OF THE FUCKING WHOPPER
  14. .@BURGERKING: BACK TO WHAT I WAS SAYING FUCK CHICKENWRAPS FUCK DESSERTS AND FUCK REAL FRUIT SMOOTHIES. YOURE BURGER KING FUCKING ACT LIKE IT
  15. .@BURGERKING FOR REAL YOU GUYS TOTALLY DISAPPOINT EIGHTY FUCKING PERCENT OF THE TIME. EIGHTY FUCKING PERCENT
  16. .@BURGERKING EIGHTY PERCENT OF THE TIME I GO TO BURGER KING I THINK WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING
  17. .@BURGERKING FOR INSTANCE I GOT A FUCKING WHOPPER TONIGHT. THE CHEESE WASNT MELTED AND THE PATTY WAS COOKED DURING THE FUCKING TODAY SHOW
  18. .@BURGERKING IT HAD MAYONAISSE FOR FUCKING MILES AND A FUCKING BLOOD SLIDE WORTH OF KETCHUP. TOMATO WAS GREENER THAN A FUCKING LEPRECHAUN
  19. .@BURGERKING CONSISTENCY MOTHERFUCKERS CONSISTENCY. WORK ON THE LITTLE THINGS LIKE GETTING THE WHOPPER RIGHT AND SWEEPING THE FUCKING PLACE
  20. .@BURGERKING THATS WHY MCDONALDS KICKS YOUR FUCKING ASS. ONLY TWENTY PERCENT OF THE TIME DO THEY DISAPPOINT ME. USUALLY THEY FUCKING OWN
  21. .@BURGERKING YOU START GETTING THE FUCKING WHOPPER RIGHT AGAIN AND YOU WONT NEED THIS HANDSPUN FRAPPE DUTCH APPLE DOGSHIT
  22. .@BURGERKING ITS EASY: PIPING HOT BEEF AND MELTED CHEESE CHILLED VEGETABLES AND A REASONABLE FUCKING KETCHUP MAYO RATIO. QUIT FUCKING IT UP
  23. .@BURGERKING AFTER ALL YOUR YEARS IN BUSINESS YOUD THINK YOUD HAVE THIS DOWN TO A FUCKING SCIENCE. BUT YOU DONT. THATS WHY YOU GET OWNED
  24. .@BURGERKING: AND ITD HELP IF THE WHOPPER PATTY WAS THICKER THAN A FUCKING NICKEL
  25. .@BURGERKING HEY DONT GET ME WRONG I FUCKING LOVE YOU GUYS BUT YOURE JUST GOING RIGHT TO SHIT AND ITS BREAKING MY FUCKING HEART

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ZODIAC MOTHERFUCKER

A MAN FOR ALL SEASONS

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