Okay! RAIDERS OF THE LOST SHARK (2015) starts now because we have all had a very bad week and it's only Tuesday. pic.twitter.com/0ENnt9CTqh
- Oh geez. "Based on a true story blah blah" followed by "just messing with you." It is ON, movie. #RaidersoftheLostShark
- @howardtayler @KBSpangler These writers have never seen a human female.
- @KBSpangler Apparently they've watched plenty of porn, though. WHAT HAVE YOU GOTTEN ME INTO?
- @howardtayler @KBSpangler These are very very VERY middle-aged men playing the role of Young Dumb Teenaged boys.
- @KBSpangler "This isn't so bad after all" says the middle-aged-soon-to-be-no-longer-aging-at-all idiot.
- @howardtayler @KBSpangler Listen there's no shame whatsoever in saying NOPE to this movie and going off to cry somewhere pleasant.
- @KBSpangler There would be shame. I'm toughing this out.
- @howardtayler @KBSpangler These credits are far too long for a movie of this quality. It should just be 16 "Alan Smithees" back to back.
- @howardtayler @KBSpangler AND WE HAVE THE FIRST MEGALODON MENTION!!!
- @howardtayler @KBSpangler Oh ffs, they're going to pretend megalodons were hiding in freshwater lakes all this time, aren't they.
- @KBSpangler And then she counted down to her own death! I bet that felt very satisfying for the actress.
- @KBSpangler "Three, two, one, aaaand I'm not in the movie anymore and can go home."
- @howardtayler @KBSpangler Did these two drink magic beer?How did their hangovers start this fast? Are they going to… https://twitter.com/i/web/status/780909492326268928 …
- @howardtayler @KBSpangler Two more security guards watching the freshwater lake with a prehistoric shark in it... This is not a good movie.
- @KBSpangler "NR" means "Not Really," and is the answer to the question "is this porn?" And the question "is this a movie?"
- @KBSpangler The skin on this shark magically prevents ripples from forming in the water. It's a common feature of freshwater Megaladons.
- @howardtayler @KBSpangler Thank goodness you passed that certification course! I'm good for nothing except chupacabra sightings.
- @howardtayler @KBSpangler "Soon-to-die Security Guard casts Giant Shark"
- @KBSpangler And now people who actually know better than to go into the lake are going into the lake to save a corpse they think's drowning.
@howardtayler @KBSpangler "WHERE'S THE REST OF YOU?!"<<<actual line of dialog from this movie. pic.twitter.com/fMS3OHHrdV- @KBSpangler "First of all, this is Canada. We don't have sheriffs here." AAAAAAUGH
- @howardtayler @KBSpangler "Read some National Geographic just for the pictures" is a convenient way for the movie to label its poopnuggets.
- @KBSpangler My son is taking a shower in the room next to my office. So I get to watch the movie to the sound of running water.
