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the full story and conclusion of Tim and Freya #traintales

  1. Couple on train before its even moved have fallen out over "her inability to accept the truth" this will be fun #traintales @VirginTrains
  2. She just told him"I can accept the truth you are incapable of speaking it NOW WHO the FUCK is TIA and why did she email you?" #traintales
  3. He said "Tia isnt working with us anymore she lives in Rome now" she said "lucky fucking her is she a nun then?" and slammed her bag down
  4. He hissed"shut up Freya, we never had anything going on it was when we were staying in Bognor remember?" she says "yes Bognor"
  5. Freya says "you were impotent in Bognor or were you just exhausted fucking Tia" #traintales
  6. He (Tim) is staring at floor Freya is eating a sandwhich in a furious chompy manner as if it was his limp cock ( am guessing) #traintales
  7. Freya is on her text and Tim is pretending to ignore her. Tim-"who are you sending that piece of shit to?" "ur mum" she said #traintales
  8. @VirginTrains brill am tweeting an argument between Freya and Tim sitting near me #traintales
  9. Tim just rubbed his eye "stop grooming me Freya" he said. She stared and said "did Tia 'groom' you? ( she did rabbit fingers ) #traintales
  10. Tim has gone to loo Freya just called 'Lisa" on mobile "I hate him Lisa he never explains his emails or texts that I find" #traintales
  11. I think Freya is a psychotic bitch Tim might have jumped from the train #traintales
  12. "now tell me everything about Tia" she hisses and Tim is staring at her I think he is scared #traintales
  13. She just PLUCKED out one of his eyebrows out in the middle of a conversation with her fingers! #traintales
  14. Tim tried to hold her hand but Freya just grabbed his face and snogged him #traintales
  15. Train is moving fine now Freya is gripping Tims hand imploringly #traintales
  16. Tim says "I was close to Tia back in 99 before we met" fucking NO TIM don't tell her! Freya is smiling encouraging him to tell #traintales
  17. "Tia and I flat shared in Manchester in late 90s was wild times" Tim smiled wistful. #traintales
  18. Freya is actually gnashing her jaw how can Tim not see this? "wild how?" she asks #traintales
  19. "I told you I was in a band at Uni back in late 90s" Tim pleads. Freya snorts " was it Oasis?" and laughs really loudly at Tim
  20. Tim stupidly explains "we did a few festivals together when I was in the band" Freya laughs " what BAND? You were in a band?" #traintales
  21. Tim has got up and walked off Freya is on phone to her pal Lisa " did you this wanker was in a band? Me neither" #traintales

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Janey Godley

The most outspoken female stand-up in Britain (Daily Telegraph) I am a Scottish stand up comic, actor, author, playwright and journalist.

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